Life Tips – Page 7

Music and Mood: #MusicMonday

By Jes Sofia Valle, MA MFTI

What a great start to my day! Hearing Feeling Good By Nina Simone. I always find that starting my day with what I like to call a “SUPERSONG” makes my day so much better. I am up beat and overall, I feel better. Isn’t it interesting how one song can make your day?

Mood:

Did you know that there is a thing called Music Psychology? Its where various of people who love music and research do what they love, research music and what are the effects on humans. It has been studied that music of one’s liking has been most effective in increasing positive feelings and decreasing negative feelings. Depending on what you like, calling it designer music. The results of studies on results suggest that designer music may be useful in the treatment of tension, mental distraction, and negative moods (McCraty R, Barrios-Choplin B, Atkinson M, Tomasino D., 1998) .

Health:

In Health, the use of music has also been shown that it helps promote a sense of well-being and to distract from pain and other unpleasant symptoms, thoughts, and feelings, while being convenient and readily available(Kemper, K. J. MD, MPH; Danhauer, S. C. PHD, 2005). Music helps to improve mood and decrease anxiety, as well as decrease the pain associated with surgery, medical procedures, and chronic conditions; it also helps ease the dying process(Kemper, K. J., 2005). Music may help premature babies to gain weight more quickly (Kemper, K. J., 2005). Music may enhance care-giving behavior (Kemper, K. J., 2005).

Culture:

I must remind you that music with in itself has it’s own culture. It derives from our own cultures, weather you listen to Samba, Jazz, Rap, R&B, Pop, Soul, Neo-Soul…. It all come from everywhere. Some artist say it comes from the drum… I say it comes from where you come from, where you bought it, where you connect to it. Also, where you allow it to go. Music can take you places…its up to you where you let it take you.

Today, I let it take me to my happy mood…

What song gets you in a good mood?

References:

Kemper, K. J. MD, MPH; Danhauer, S. C. PHD, (March 2005) Music as Therapy Southern Medical Journal (98) 3 282-288

McCraty R, Barrios-Choplin B, Atkinson M, Tomasino D. (1998) The effects of different types of music on mood, tension, and mental clarity. Altern Ther Health Med. 1998 Jan 4(1) 75-84.

I will leave you with this:

Birds flyin’ high you know how I feel

Sun in the sky you know how I feel

Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me

yeah, its a new dawn its a new day its a new life for me ooooooooh

AND I’M FEELING GOOD

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel

River runnin’ free you know how I feel

Blossom on the tree you know how I feel

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me

And I’m feelin good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what i mean dont you know

Butterflies all havin’ fun you know what I mean

Sleepin’ peace when day is done that’s what I mean

And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel

Scent of the crime you know how I feel

Your freedom is mine, and I know how I feel

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me

(Free styling)

OH I’M FEELING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/n/nina+simone/feeling+good_20100629.html

Smile (If you want)

Jes Sofia Valle

Falling off your chair

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Today I fell off my chair while laughing in Starbucks… [insert LOL here] HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I was chatting with this random, I have no idea who they are, writer…

He apparently was hilarious since I feel off my chair laughing. I could not hold it in… he was really funny. Then… he said I helped him create a character and would be in his writing. I said… sure! He also I would see it on TV somehow… I said, call Sofia on your script… He said said “ok.” I said, and when you become famous I want some money since you are using my life as a base to this character…

So basically I was laughing at him making fun of my life… Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself, even if its someone else is making fun of all the “stuff” you have gone through.

He made me laugh.

I hope you have an awesome week… I am starting mine with laughter.

Smile (if you want)

Jes Sofia Valle

Making You

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There are a lot of things that you go through life to make you happen… You work so hard to create your name, to make money, to live life, party, have fun, get healthy… the list is ongoing.. it is life after all.

So why is it that we forget the number one thing?… What is it Jes? YOU!!!!!

In an ongoing fast pace city we become so involved in creating a life, a brand… that we forget why we are doing all of this. I see it on TV, people forgetting to take care of themselves and living Life. I hear it with the people I talk to, it even happened to me.

You see…I became so Involved in making me happen… that I forgot about me. By “me” I mean, my physical health, my mental health, my lifestyle. I deserted my friends, kinda, my family saw me like once every three months. Yes… and My spirituality… I stilled believe in what I do.. but I did not take action in what I believed.

It took, two spine surgeries and finally a car accident to realize and hear my friend’s and mother’s “continual nags” saying to me… “sit, take some time to rest, eat, sleep.” I was a contradiction. I wanted to help the world, when I was not placing my oxygen mask on first.

Why is it so hard to give YOU time?

Becoming someone is an addiction, especially when you enjoy being a professional you. You live to make a name… when all you have to realize is that your name was given to you when you where born (Deep right?, I thought so). You see… becoming a you means taking care of you.

Here is a list of Common Things you check off to allow you to be you.

Physical:

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Breath – Do things that you can to chill, relax, sit and breath.
General check ups- Get to a doctors. if you don’t have insurance hit up a general free clinic.
Exercise: This use to be my weakness… I didn’t do what I should have done. But it’s the best thing you can do!
Eat healthy. Its actually less expensive the make healthy meals than to eat out. Its a recession people! 😀

Mental Health:

Woosah! Take time to do a woosa moment. Again, BREATH.
Focus on yourself. This is NOT being self-centered in the negative (conceited) meaning. It is allowing yourself to focus on the you. Where you are going. Where you are coming from. Where you want to go.
It is NEVER a bad thing to center yourself. But like with everything too much sometimes is never a good thing.

Spirituality/Culture:

You don’t have to believe in anything if you don’t want. But not believing is actually believing in something too.. you believe that you don’t believed.
Get grounded in what you believe. Look at what drew you in to believing the first place, and why you stopped.
What did your parents, family instill in you?
How do you fit into your own Self-Culture into your family, you daily culture?
If you don’t know anything about your family history, or religion status… how can you change that? By looking for it right? SO get to it.

Family/Friends/loved ones:

Make time! MAKE TIME!

You can live alone… some people are built that way… but MOST are not.
You are the one who calls the shots… this then allows you to say YES I HAVE TIME for the people I care for.

Spend that time you will take to give them and make those memories. This does not have to be expensive either. Hanging out and catching up at the park or while getting your exercises on. Make time to call back and give reasons as to why you cannot make it to things.
Allow your friends and family to be there for you. Asking for help does NOT mean you are weak. Its the opposite. It helps you know who is really there for you.

Enjoy life. You only have one here on this earth. You are not a cat, and you don’t have 9 lives. But in this one life, you have time to make your life balanced. To be able to take care of yourself, your name, your brand, you. Its what you make of it right? So make it balanced, if you have you in tact, then you will have time for everything you allow. YOU ALLOW.

Smile (if you want).

Take care of you,

Jes Sofia Valle

What to add to your planner…

“So What do I put in my planner???”

First of all…buy a planner from Franklin Covey

After you get your self and your family planners.

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In your planner plan time with your family.

Usually I ask the parents (if you have kids) to help them write it down. If you have teens to communicate about it and help them write it down.

Make time to have dinner with your family.
If you are on a budget, its even better cook it… make a new “i remember when Dad or Mom use to cook” time.
Board Games.. not boring games… board games.

Write in time for you.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO MAKE YOU COUNT TOO.

Remember, with out placing on the oxygen mask first, you cannot help someone else.
Give yourself time to make you count too… after all don’t you help run the home? Would you like to have a sleepy pilot flying the plane? I don’t think so. Make it so that your loved one, even if its just you, get a great you.

Gym time
Personal time
Lifetime (Movie channel)

Work….

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Your goals
Your inspirations
time working
meetings

Allow yourself to be organized… It will help you with a lot in your busy life. Just don’t do a Garfield. LOL

***If this becomes overwhelming, start slow… and remember these are just suggestions. You can add more or less to your planner.

Thank you,
http://store.franklinplanner.com/store/

Smile (If you want)
Jes Sofia
www.sofiavalle.com

QUESTION: How do you make your life run as smooth as you can make it run???

Using Nature to Remain Calm…

Nature is beautiful. Maybe not around the corner where you see trash on the sidewalk. But if you take a moment to look up and ahead of where you are walking, you may find that there is an awesome view. I usually take a moment to see above the floor.

I love photographing nature. It allows me to be calm. When I feel overwhelmed I tend to go to the beach, The Getty Center and/or hiking to a high peak to help “remove myself” from whatever is causing the overwhelming feeling. Somewhere I can breath and relax. I usually sit and stare at the beauty of nature and tend to get my “head on straight.”

This helps with reducing muscle tension, anxiety, anger, anything you want. At the end of the day, it is your thinking that allows you to “keep control” of how you want to feel, think and be. But I also want to remind you that feeling “out of control” can sometimes be good… why? Because sometimes you need a reality check, and feeling “out of control” is like a pain signal in your body telling you that something is not right.

Regardless if you feel in or out of control, going to a place that gives you peace is always good.

Here are some picture I recently took of The Getty Center. Staring out into the scenery helped me more than I expected… I reminded me how awesome life is for me no matter how much pain my body gives me. And Yes, I am paying attention to those signals too.

Enjoy!

Basic Tips: To make a Resolution

What is a resolution?

res·o·lu·tion

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“a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. “
“a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.”
“the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.”
“the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute; firmness of purpose.”
“the act or process of resolving or separating into constituent or elementary parts.”

Now what does setting a resolution resolve? It can be many things for you, from a conformation, use of validation, hope, a new dress size, more money in the bank, who knows. This is defiantly up to you.

But I want you to remember is that this is a chance for set goals to help you resolve something you determine to make a change in your choice.

Just make sure you are able to do your best. Know you can do it!

Personally, I set my goals weekly and/or monthly. This way I avoid the “massive loss” if I didn’t do something ALL AT ONCE “by the end of the year.”

Here are some tips to resolutions:

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Don’t overdue your expectation; keep it real.

You know yourself, honestly, keep it real.
If you cannot afford it, find it cheaper etc.

Write your Main resolution down, and your goal(s) to obtain this resolution down and next to it write “flexible when needed.”

Make a chart to help plan your goal(s) if you need to.

Keep it short and in increments.

This way you can do things little by little, not all at once.
When you strive for something everything has a process…remember this.

Tell someone about your goal.

This helps you keep you on track, journal it.
Find other friends who are doing the same or similar goals to create support.

Be happy with your goal, stick to it.

If you feel you need to upgrade it, do it. After all its your goal.

Don’t overstress yourself. A goal leads to a resolution that is usually set to allow stress to be relieved.

If you goal add too much stress, think about it.
Your goal is that, your goal to have a resolution.

Note: This is not meant for everyone, but its a start if you want to begin. 😀

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Smile (if you want)

Happy New Years!

Jes Sofia Valle

Thank you www.dictionary.com

Effort I tell ya! : Doing what I preach…

I’ve been writing for a bit now for people out there on how to take care of yourself. Is anyone out there???? I hope so.

I’ve written about people; highlighting their strengths. Writing about how to look at your basics in life, instincts, follow your dreams, be modest to others and rest when you need to rest. Giving hope.

Well, I’ve been doing just that too, practicing what I preach. Resting, giving myself hope when pleading for spasm mercy! and talking to my besties (Best friends) and even crying on the phone to my boyfriend, yes I am human too…lol

He is awesome. My facebook quote last night: “I ♥ my bf. I’ve been taking meds to ease my cough etc… and I’m sleepy and meds make me feel icky and all emotional. He called… I cried, he made me laugh. I can always count on him even if far away. So excited he is coming home soon!” It also helps that hes an awesome man. Facebook people… geniuses I tell ya!

What is going on?! you may ask. Well… along with getting fit, back better, I became so sick last month, got pneumonia/bronchitis, got better, then again got another strain of this horrible flu. Immune system weakness I like to call it. Can a girl get a break! hijola (e-hole-la)! (geesh in Spanish). It really took me down. Like for many of us out there…I think I slept for two days straight. Going to my family for only 3 hours for the holiday eve and my Christmas was filled with sleep. When I did wake up, it was to reply to text, tweets and some phone calls. I even attempted to speak to some friends…giving up only because when I spoke, I coughed. It is a bit funny now that I write about it because my last post was about having a low day.

More so, today my mom (awesome support) asked me to make an effort to get better because she was becoming worried. (When do mother’s no worry right?) So with my sneeze, red nose, I’m making an effort, I’m writing, she reads my blogs. Also, to make my mind begin to think that I am doing better. Sleeping another day will only make my back hurt more anyways. As if coughing helped right? It is a string of things, coughing aggravates my back pain, which then makes me feel more yucky. I definitely will and want this to go away.

So this is my personal update to you. I’m better than two days ago. My back is spasming after a lot of coughing but I’m resting. For those that know me, rest for me is like telling a fish not to swim… but I’m doing it. I’m learning its a must sometimes. Life is a little lot of effort, to rest, is too an effort sometimes too.

I hope you had an awesome holiday! I’m excited for the new year! What do you think about the topic of New Year Resolution? ha! here is comes!

Happy Holidays,

Jes Sofia Valle

Best days of the week for the best deals!

I was watching The Nate Berkus Show today and I was so happy that his friend, “Financial expert Alexa Von Tobel Shows what the best days of the week are for the best deals.”

I though this was an awesome Show today! Take a Look!

Getting Ready for your in.Sanity Holiday!

Holidays… Need I say more?

It is suppose to be a time for happiness, cheerful moments, and creating memories. However, not all families go through these “happy times.” For some its dreadful moments, avoidance of childhood memories, and ongoing regrets. And what I can tell you is this, It is what you make of it. Also, the following…

You can kick and scream, through a tantrum and act like you are five or six all over again, but what will that get you? Maybe being ignored, or hollered at and being told you are acting like a five or six year old.
You can scream, argue and throw things around. But that will only get you a broken vase/plates/brown windows. You can also hurt others including yourself.
You can make horrible food. But you have to sit down and eat it too…
You could even avoid the holidays in general, but you will miss out on what you can change and make better.

Like I said, Not everyone likes the holidays. Moreover, sometimes as an adult they may seem like a waste of time when you are busy making YOU happen.

BUT! Its not an everyday thing. They are the holidays. Which means, a vacation, from your everyday life to make more memories with the ones you love or in some cases choose to deal with.

Here are some tips to get through this Holiday season:

Communication

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Use the Letter “I” (I think, I feel) you speak for you… You are the only one that knows your thinking. I’m pretty sure you cannot read someones mind. If you can good luck!
With out communication, you cannot express your self in a DECENT manner.
People prefer to hear communication in a calm voice more than violent acts or screaming.
Communication allows for you to release these “ghost” that have haunting you from a young age.

Self- Control

Making sure you are aware of your body…i.e. drinking. You can always communicate better when you have control of what you want to say.
Only you have self control of you, no one else. There isn’t someone pulling your strings unless you let them.

Awareness

Being aware of what other are saying, hearing them and reciprocate without being violent.
Know that everyone is not in the same situation that you are in.
Follow up with your family; of the family circumstances.
Tell your family what is going on with you. I’m very sure they would like to know. Some families tend to be resentful of the wonderful things you are doing, include them into your life.
Be there.

Boundaries

Learn people’s boundaries.
Inform your family members what your boundary is and WHY you choose to have that specific boundary.
Give them time to adjust and understand your choices.
Don’t feel like you cannot say no, even if it gets someone mad. You need to take care of you… communicate about it. You can also say yes, you don’t always have to say no. You get where I’m going with this?

Goals

Set a goal for yourself in this holiday season: To be happy.
Things happen and people come and go in your life, but what you remember best of them is what counts…because you can choose to be miserable or you can choose to be happy.It is your choice.

Smile (If you want).

Happy Holidays!

Jes Sofia Valle

What does Being Balanced Mean?

Being Balanced is not walking on a tight rope. It is falling down, like every one does at one point, and learning how to continue living life through your lessons learned.

Learning from your lessons.
Working with the tool your lesson taught you.
Doing what you will with your tools and lessons.

Learning your lesson:

This is the hard part SOMETIMES. You go through an event that gets you the outcomes you have now. Or you choose to enter to your own lesson being learned. Here is where you may feel overwhelmed, stressed, tired and that you don’t even know what your basic instincts are telling you anymore. But don’t fret! Your thinking and awesome support can get your through it.

Your thinking is very important on this lifetime, the way your perceive your life is how it will be.

Ex: If you see it as “always going through hell” then guess what?… yup! basic says: your thought will make you feel that.

This doesn’t mean that you are not to take care of yourself when you are in pain or emotional distress… it means that while your working through it, you have the ability to think “i will get through this, and I will be OK.”

Working With the Tools:

Now that you went through your mini General Hospital Episode…

You can decided what you are getting out of it. What lessons did you learn? What are you willing to plan from the lesson?

And continue your positive thinking.

Doing what you will from what you learned:

Everything you go through has many reasons. These reasons only you know. Sometimes you might not know them right away…but trust me on this…If you look within, and search, you will find them. If everything was easy everyone would have everything.

So continue living and learning, and be a better polished you. Learn from your lessons and make something great out of them, Why? Why not? 😀 Because you can.

This is being balanced.

Smile (if you want).

Jes Sofia Valle