Category: Parents and Health

Any Writing for Parents.

Support System: Living Life

I have to say, Life is wonderful. From everything I have been through I’ve always had support:

Lets make a list real quick of my personal struggles:

Age 11: Broken knee
  Age 11& 12 : Dislocated Hip-surgery
Arthritis starts
Age 14: Fractured elbow
Age 17: Dislocated Foot
Age 18&21: Mest up knee again (Volleyball)
Age 24: Skin cancer
Age 24: Herniated spine disc
Age 27: Lumbar Spine Fusion…
Finally better… No pain! 
Age 28: Car accident 6 months later!!!
Age 28: Possible future cancer? A scare!
Current Recouping

Did I forget anything.. crazy huh? Sounds unbelievable…but trust… it all in my records

I have to say. I have been able to overcome all this with support! If it were not for the awesome support and love that I have I would not know where I would be.

It is very important that you find awesome support.
 What to look for: 

  • People with WILL, FAITH, and a SMILE! 
  • People that will want you to rise from the depths of whatever you are in. 
  • Who will lend a hand when your too prideful to ask for it. 
  • Who will tell you the truth 
  • Who honor your choice and remind you of the consequences 
  • Who don’t push you down when you need to be uplifted 
  • Who can be there, even with a simple text
  • Who can make you LAUGH! 
  • Who will be a shoulder to cry on. 
  • Who understands that they are not you.. and they can try to fit into your shoes…

All of this does NOT have to come from one person. Moreover, it can be different people. A group of friends who really care about you. And want to understand the chaos you try to avoid. This is not only for people who have gone through chronic pain. This is also for anyone who has gone through Life.

Living life to its fullest in any capacity has its need of comrades. Not everyone will understand the relationships with another because each relationship is individual and give your something different from the next one. This is OK. Just make sure you are well balanced. Are receiving the support you need. Also giving back. Because just receiving is one things…and it get boring to both parties. You have to Give.

So next time you are going through something, have a friend to speak to. Count on someone. And learn to be there for someone too.

I wish you all the best! All the Awesome support in the world! Because Life is worth living with everyone you want around you.

Smile (if you want)

I’m happy Because I choose to be,
Jes Sofia Valle 😀

Is he/she good for your balance?

Have you ever been with someone who is not right for you… and you know it. BUT you say BUT about it because you are comfortable and Scared to be alone?

I want you to think of the following:

  1. Are you following your instinct or your comfort? 
  2. Is this person a negative in your life? 
  3. Does he/she make you feel alive or frustrated? 
  4. Are you more sad/mad than happy? 
  5. Are you in an emotional roller coaster? 
  6. Are you Happy? 

There are various types of relationship. From friendship to various marriages. All of them are not right for you until you make it right for you.  Jes say what???

Yes. Not everyone will work out for you and not everyone will be bad either. Everyone has different needs and wants. The one thing that does make them better is how you receive, interact towards the other persons needs and wants. You will NEVER find the PERFECT person. EVER. WHY? because we are not made to be perfect. So I strongly suggest you get that out of your system.

However, you will find someone who will make the time to please you and allow you to be happier. I say happier because no one but you can make you happy. Follow your instinct.  Trust your gut feeling about someone and don’t get stuck on wanting someone or “needing someone”. Not everyone is meant to be with everyone. And also, know that Not everything is easy. If it was… everyone would be married with babies. Everything takes work. Even being Lazy takes work too.

I wish you the best in whatever or where ever you are in this process.

Smile (if you want)

Jes Sofia Valle

How to Find Your Niche in Business | eHow.com

There are Various things that you can do in creating your business. The following Link allows you to help you find you “Niche.”
Everyone has one, its just all about having the passion for something.

I read the following Article and Found that this may help you in your search to creating your Business of doing what you Like/love.

“Things You’ll Need:

  • The desire to niche yourself in business and improve your customer base.”

  • “1 First, realize that having a niche does not mean you’re not diversified. Being someone who’s a major fan of multiple streams of income, the idea of having a niche first made me think I’d have to let a lot fall by the wayside. A lot of times you can combine several related interests into something that is unique and solves a particular problem. It’s having focus and an overall goal that will make you more money long-term.

  • 2 Having a niche allows you to be the “go to” man or woman in a particular area. Using my own life as an example, if I put my name on a business card or brochure with writer, video editor, photographer, videographer, watercolor painter, Amazon used book seller, website owner, and on and on–it would fall victim to the Jack (in my case Jill)-of-all-trades and master of none effect.

    When people want something done, they want an expert and not someone who just appears to be decent at a lot of things. Note that it doesn’t matter if you’re actually really good at all of them or not but the impression gives when you rattle off that many businesses when you first meet someone. It often makes word-of-mouth marketing hard to pull off because if you don’t really know what you do than other people don’t either.

  • 3 A great way to discover possible niches is to write out your interests, your skills, your connections (family, friends, classmates, co-workers), and try different ways of combining them into a problem you would enjoy helping people solve. You can usually come up with several, and it does take some thought into picking a final direction. It’s a very freeing thing however because it takes a lot of indecisiveness out of your life. I’m in this process with you right now, but I hope you found this information helpful as well.

  • 4 The somewhat odd thing about this is once you pick a niche, people still ask you if you’re able to do other things. In the end, you’re not really limited! It’s just from a marketing standpoint it makes things a whole lot easier for you when you have a focused course of action.”

    • Read more: How to Find Your Niche in Business | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_2325968_niche-business.html#ixzz14Ns7c1nu

How to Find Your Niche in Business | eHow.com

Parent Monday

So do you ever get too low in the beginning of the week?

What have you done during the weekend to wear you out? If you have children, my empathy. I know how much being a mother/father takes. Not because I have them, but because I’ve learned and seen through all of my friends who have them. And yes, I do give them breaks by having them over for the weekend. It is a lot of work!

If you are both Mom/Dad and on the “Go” parent… what did you do for yourself?

I know that when you have a child you have to be unselfish. A given.
However, How can you be a parent if you do not give yourself the time you need to recuperate? I’m just saying… Its not like I’ve gotten parent patients before coming stressed out, freaked out, and super overwhelmed because they don’t have any time due to their children or anything. (Being a smarty here).

At the end of the day your kids will suffer too… not just you. Think about it.

Make time for you! I’m not talking about leave your kids or neglect them either. Be balanced. So you will be happy, less stressed, better focused and you can teach your children how to be less stressed, happier, and better focus. After all, they learn from you. They are sponge Bobs that soak up all your doings, mock you and many times are your mirror.

Things to do for you:

Single mom/dad? Find friends who love kids and will sit for you for a few hours at your home so you can go take 3-5 hours to yourself. Make sure you come back home with in that time limit… you will miss your kids after that.

A walk at the beach.
While at the beach, relax, sit, breath, cry if you must. Write. Dance in the wind like your kids do.
A walk/hike anywhere.
Paint
Write a book of being a parent.

Married or together parents:

Make plans to spice up your relationship and yourself.

Take one or two hours for yourself. Then, some for your partnership to grow.

Go out with a friend. Catch up with what is going on in life.

These are just some ideas… If you have kids, I’m more than sure you will come up with some creative ideas for you.

Live Balanced.

Smile (If you want to)

Jes Sofia Valle

Frustrated and cooking to alleviate

So Today I fell frustrated.

So I cooked, and Cooking alleviates my distress… Now I just need my BFF to come over and eat it. LOL

You see… I am Miss Communication. Yet this weekend I was expecting to be told a time and date of something that is to come… but I have not received it. So this frustrates me (it has been two days since I asked, and Asked today Again…nothing). Oh yes, did I mention it is a VERY BIG thing for me to know this info?  I’m using my patience…now.

So what I did instead:  I cooked. I bought some sausages at Trader Joe’s, bought some cilantro and other veggies at Bristol Farms off Beverly. Then Got home, cooked the sausage. When the sausage was done, I added some Balsamic and added squeeze of ketchup. I poured a glass of cranberry juice and topped it off with a bit of beer.  I ate it while watching LOVE HAPPENS. After eating my meal, I ate a cup of Greek Honey Yogurt.

Very weird, I know. But It was good and I like to mix things up. 

And the funny thing is that My frustration came out in my food…because as you can tell by the pics below, I burned my Sausage a little a lot.

I’m feeling no longer frustrated now and enjoyed my movie.

Writing this made it even better too!  LOL. Thank for listening.

Does your food come out like you feel?

Waking Up…

Have you ever noticed how most people that are “made-up” look like they have it together and are not in the disheveled mood?

What do I mean by made-up? I mean, have allowed the time in the morning to get themselves ready…look great, seem to feel great. I’m not specifically talking about lots of make-up or perfect hair… I’m talking about your basic looking and feeling good.

Every morning, before I get up I lay in bed for a little bit thinking:

“I’m alive? Breathing. Do I have back pain today? A bit. Is it gone yet? No, but leaving slowly. What will I wear? Humm lets get up and see.” I start my day in a positive note.

You see, I’m asking myself questions, MORE important, I am answering them at the same time. I’m not asking myself and placing them on a post it note (although I do have a post it note around somewhere just in case, I’m not perfect). I am asking myself Basic questions, to be able to answer them.

And look at my white button down Ralph Lauren Shirts, Nordstrom bought and DNKY, Lane Bryant bought pants and wonder how I will mix and Match my clothes to make a great outfit. If I were a man, I’d probably be looking at similar outfit Button down shirt and pant too… ha ha.

Make sure you have your Neutrogena face soap or which ever you use, in stock. And are able to use water in your day, its meant to refresh you. Wash your mouth with your little colgate tube and Oral Brush. Which ever you use is awesome because you are using them.

Point: I’m making time for me. I’m taking away the rough night, the bad yesterday and leaving them there. Yesterday is lived and gone. I’m choosing to start a new day. After all, it is a new day right?

I suggest you try it. I also suggest you don’t ask question of WHAT If’s unless you are able to Resolve them. Like WHAT IF I mix and match Blue and white and red? This is ok because you can get those clothes and place them on your bed to see what they may look like, even try them out. What if I don’t make the team? This question is not what I am talking about, not ok because you cannot predict the future.

Before you go bonkers in your closet… Give yourself a time limit. Oh yeah… here comes the word limits again. 🙂

I hope you are able to take time for you in the morning. You will be better than a grouch and your day will start how you choose.

Recap:

1. Ask you basic questions and answer them. (Keep them light and positive)
2. Give yourself a morning goal to look good and feel good.
3. Give yourself a specific time on how long you have to be ready, don’t do a quickie on yourself here. It is you! You deserve it! BUT DON’T BE LATE EITHER.
4. Remind yourself that today you choose to be [insert mood here].
5. Start your rest of your awesome day.

Good day! (British/Latina accent) O_o lol.

Smile (If you want)

Jes Sofia Valle

What are some questions you like to ask yourself in the morning? Do you even ask or are you pressured to be ON the GO once the ALARM wakes you up?

Giving too much or too little? Check yourself

Giving…

An endearing and very traditional word… Ever heard of it? 😀

“Give and you shall receive?”
“What comes around goes around.”
“Giving gets you everything?”

Although these quotes are good, GREAT even, I’m not a true believer in them. Jes say what?

I will tell you why.

1. I’m am not talking about church stuff here (ties and what not). Keep doing that if you do that, I do. I will never deteriorate you from your blessings. And if you are a believer of such things, on believe.

I’m talking about giving of self, and things…

2.If you are going to give, give wholeheartedly, with out ANY expectations.

3. Giving will not always give you something back.

4. When you give to someone, its best not to expect something because you will only become disillusioned if you do not get something back.

5. Giving is just that… giving.

The definition of Giving is…to give.

So next time you give something, don’t expect anything. Do it wholeheartedly and appreciate the fact that you are able to give.

Enjoy giving.

Giving too much?

How do you keep from giving too much? Is there such a thing? YES!

Be careful with giving too much. Make sure you are ok and well before you are able to give. “I get being passionate and just give…” but you can’t give if you don’t have. This means making sure your extra pennies are just that, extra. If you have two of everything, then you know you are able to give to others.

Again, Take care of you as you are suppose to before you are able to give.

If I say “give” one more time my friend Brian is going to GIVE me a slap in the arm…

I hope you become so well off in life, that when you have a lot, you give a lot. Those are my wishes for you’re my dearest readers! And thank you for giving me your time. 😀

Smile (If you want).

Jes Sofia Valle

Asserting yourself does not mean being aggressive…keep your balance

Asserting yourself: This does not mean being aggressive.

The lack of assertiveness is sometimes linked to a lack of self-image or prior life experiences. What you think of yourself is what you will project (to place onto) to others. There are many different ways to assert you.

But first:
1. Learn to understand yourself.
2. Think how you would like things to be.
3. What are the best ways to communicate what you want?

Think if the common reasons why you NEED assert yourself.
– How will asserting yourself help you increase your self (general)?

Before you assert yourself, don’t doubt yourself, know your true answer. This means be you, trust your instinct, be the person that you are and know the actions that you will do.

There are three parts of each assertive intervention:
1. Empathy/validation.
2. Statement of problem.
3. Statement of what you want. (read want vs. need)

How to be assertive:
Use assertive body language. Eye to eye, be serious, use facial expression; keep your voice calm and soft, not whiney or abrasive. Speak like you want to be spoken to and hear how you want to be heard.
Do not predict the person’s actions. Or Judge the other person when communicating.
Use the “I”. I want and/or need. I think, I know, WHEN I feel this due to…

Own your expressive thoughts/feeling, and opinions. If you speak, know what you are saying. Think before you say something. Sometimes we get wrapped around our emotions or become stubborn with our logical thinking that we forget to own what we say or listen to the other.

Be direct with your wants and/or needs. Details are important here. And again, know what you are asking before speaking.

Sometimes life brings us moments where we need to assert ourselves and we don’t have to time to think about all of this. HOWEVER, the more you practice this in a consistent basis, it will come to you natural to you. It takes 21-23 days to start a habit. Make this a positive habit.

Life Life, Love and Be balanced.

Smile (if you want)

Jes Sofia Valle

Balance while love is in the picture?

http://keturahweathers.theworldrace.org/blogphotos/theworldrace/keturahweathers/love2.jpg

How do you keep your balance while love is in the picture?

Love is a choice you make, to care and love someone. It is different than infatuation, obsession and lust.

So while being in a relationship how do you keep Balance?

Basics:
1. Make sure you do a (your name here) reality check.
2. Make time for your partner, not set them aside for later. Tomorrow is never promised.
3. Continue working on you.
4. Continue to strive for your goals. Make Goals for your relationship.
5. Acknowledge that change is the only constant in life.
6. You will not always get what you want, but they are not suppose to either
7. Make sure you have a support team and you learn to communicate with your partner. Not everyone knows how to react to your emotions… therefore
9. Be patient
10. Know yourself and trust yourself well enough to know the reasons why you are with your partner.
11. A relationship is give and take.
12. Communicate.

Make sure you don’t loose yourself. Continue to do your job, your business and your life… but communicate with your loved on about what you and he believe things are…what are things you respect and disrespect. What are things that you feel to be disrespectful?

Example: If you are a networking woman, what is flirting, business flirting, and taking it to the next level. (ever thought about that?)

I WISH YOU all the happiness in keeping yours balance with your loved one.

Live Life, Love and Be!

Smile (If you want)
Jes Sofia Valle

How do you make it happen with your lovey dovey?

A Woman in Pain.

LYesterday while sitting at my doctor’s office, I met a very interesting woman.

She told me about her distress… she talked like no one had heard her in years! She began to cry about her experience: She said she was hurt while picking up a trashcan at work. She fell and broke the top of her neck. (OUCH!). Imagine that. Now, she doesn’t dare to do much because she is afraid of her pain. Notice, this is not one of my patients… just another passenger in this ride called life.

So I asked her, how do keep your life balanced if you’re afraid to move much?

Woman: I don’t have a life anymore. I’m always tired, my back is stressed out and I cannot move.

JesSofia: You do know that when you don’t move your muscles get tight and your pain increases.

Woman: I don’t care. I’m old anyways (60yrs old)

JesSofia: First of all, you don’t look old. Not is 60 old… Oprah is making it the new 40. Didn’t you know this?

Woman: Laughing… oh my goodness dear, your made me laugh. I have not laughed in a very long time.

JesSofia: I’m glad I can make you smile. So now what? You know that you can smile?

Woman: I had forgotten to laugh…

JesSofia: Like you said you forgot to move your muscles?

Woman: I see what you mean.

JesSofia: I Just want to tell you that whatever you have gone through or whatever you are going through. No one can take your power but you. You create your balance. No one else. At the end of the day what you choose to feel, feel it. What you choose to accept, accept. What you choose to Deny, Deny. It is your life to make it happen for you at no matter what young age of 60 you are. I wish you well and Next time I see you, if ever, I want to see you smiling.

This woman reminded me… that you create your balance, its an allowance you allow in your life. Things happen to us sometimes, but at the end of the day we choose how to deal with it.

How do you deal with your life?

If you feel down and you cannot get out of “the low” contact your local Support team. If you are threatening to hurt yourself, there is help.