Asserting yourself does not mean being aggressive…keep your balance

Asserting yourself: This does not mean being aggressive.

The lack of assertiveness is sometimes linked to a lack of self-image or prior life experiences. What you think of yourself is what you will project (to place onto) to others. There are many different ways to assert you.

But first:
1. Learn to understand yourself.
2. Think how you would like things to be.
3. What are the best ways to communicate what you want?

Think if the common reasons why you NEED assert yourself.
– How will asserting yourself help you increase your self (general)?

Before you assert yourself, don’t doubt yourself, know your true answer. This means be you, trust your instinct, be the person that you are and know the actions that you will do.

There are three parts of each assertive intervention:
1. Empathy/validation.
2. Statement of problem.
3. Statement of what you want. (read want vs. need)

How to be assertive:
Use assertive body language. Eye to eye, be serious, use facial expression; keep your voice calm and soft, not whiney or abrasive. Speak like you want to be spoken to and hear how you want to be heard.
Do not predict the person’s actions. Or Judge the other person when communicating.
Use the “I”. I want and/or need. I think, I know, WHEN I feel this due to…

Own your expressive thoughts/feeling, and opinions. If you speak, know what you are saying. Think before you say something. Sometimes we get wrapped around our emotions or become stubborn with our logical thinking that we forget to own what we say or listen to the other.

Be direct with your wants and/or needs. Details are important here. And again, know what you are asking before speaking.

Sometimes life brings us moments where we need to assert ourselves and we don’t have to time to think about all of this. HOWEVER, the more you practice this in a consistent basis, it will come to you natural to you. It takes 21-23 days to start a habit. Make this a positive habit.

Life Life, Love and Be balanced.

Smile (if you want)

Jes Sofia Valle

One comment

  • I love that part about “Speak like you want to be spoken to and hear how you want to be heard.” I love that!!! Sometimes we forget how to listen because we want to be heard so badly.. but it helps to be reminded that it is just as important to listen and can be applied to every setting, professional, parental, emotional relationships, and even friendships. 🙂

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