Category: Education

My Affair…. with Dove


I love my Hair! 

Tis true. I think, taking care of my hair is the most time consuming part of getting ready for me. Granted I get ready pretty fast…(so I think..LOL).  But I do know and think is that taking care of myself is a big part of staying Mentally Prepared for my day. Because when I take care of me first, I can take care of everyone else better. So Taking care of me is very important. There is more to its than looking cute. 

So what does one do when they have frizzy long hair? Well, I will be honest. This is my to do list I do to keep my hair healthy as possible… 


1.  I wash my hair with Dove’s Hair Therapy. 


2. Brush it while its still wet 

3. Towel dry it and let the hair be damp dry. 

4. Add some Style+Care Frizz-Free Shine  Cream-Serum 
and let the hair dry out. 

Usually I let my hair air dry but If I have to then I’ll use my hair dryer to help it dry up a little bit. Still leaving it moist because I don’t like it all dry. 

After my hair is dry I place it in a Swirl Bun. (Is when you swirl you hair and make it into a bun). And a few hours later I have curls and bounce, soft and good smelling hair. Another reason why I don’t like to do too much to my hair is because If i add curls or dry it up with the blow dryer I get a burnt smell. 
And then I have this! I like to use my Self Friend pictures because I’m about keeping it real. So this is my Hair after I did What I wrote before. 

This is me with my hair about to speak at a Mental Health Pannel at the #LATISM13 conference in New York. 

and the Second picture is of me and Mel enjoying New York and an awesome fun time after dinner party. Isn’t she Gorgeous!? 🙂 







Note: Disclaimer: These Dove products were provided free of charge in collaboration with Bloggers of Health to facilitate this product review.  I just love their Hair Products and I like their Socially responsible company. 

Questions to Find a Positive you.

I come across a lot of people who want to find themselves. Most of them are still finding themselves. Others are going through a “midlife crisis” and other just have never had the opportunity to get to know themselves. 
Today I want to give you a few Questions to learn how to BEGIN to find a positive self. Honestly, you are always growing so you will ALWAYS find something great about you when you are looking for it. 
Some of the questions are: 
*THINK POSITIVE* (That was a Statement) 🙂
Questions: 
What are positive things about you?  
If you need some help here are some basic ones to start you off: 
You are currently reading, breathing, here, alive and you have a life.
So you can start by stating: “I am _____(fill in the gap with a positive)” 
What do you Like to do that helps you have a Moment of feeling free and alive with out hurting your self (mind, body and Spirit) ? 
It is important to know your likes in this world. They are the things that allow you to keep on going. 


DEFINITELY NOT THIS: 

Who do you enjoy life with? 
The people you allow in your life are the people who encourage you, think positive, have hope and make sure you are doing well from time to time, sometimes on a daily or weekly. 
You don’t have any? They start talking to someone. Go to meet ups. Go to the places you enjoy and see who else has things in common with you. 
How do you enjoy life? 

The things you do to enjoy life are the things that give you passion, drive and ambition. They help you to where you need to get to.

Need help with this? Ask a friend out and let them help you…just tell them what you are going through.

Who do you allow in your life? And What positive “ness” do they bring to you? 
This is an important questions because although you may be strong, we are usually almost always influenced by the people we surround ourselves with in our lives. 

This means we have to go out there and surround ourselves. 
What do you want to accomplish today? 
Remember that Small goals get you to the bigger ones.
Do goals that you know you can reach and then keep on accomplishing the goals.

Give your self a Mantra to live by. 
Mine is: Keep Me Positive, Happy, Healthy and Stay ALIVE
You are enough for what you want to do in life. AND know that doing things with other people is what human kind is all about. Working with others allows you to grow and allows you to learn more. I hope this helps you to Begin to think Positive! Now go out there and make you happen. 🙂

If you need further assistance there are many Many Mental Health people who want help you.
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself please call 911.

Smile (If you want to),

Oklahoma

I was thinking about my old friend in Oklahoma today. How we would talk and have lots of laughs on the phone when I was in High School. I lost touch with them after college. But I pray that they are ok.
Events like these always remind me that life will always bring things that are unexpected. More so, that we are to live life, enjoy it and be thankful for what we have. For those that survived, I’m thankful that they are able to breath. Please help the people that are helping with a generous gift.
If you or anyone your know were affected by these events please call for help: 

2-1-1 Helpline (Oklahoma)
Call 2-1-1 from your service area
(877) 362-1606 Alternative Number
(405) 840-9396 Alternative Number
http://heartlineoklahoma.org/

United Way of Central Oklahoma
Phone: (405) 236-8441
http://www.unitedwayokc.org/
 
American Red Cross (Central and Western Oklahoma Region)
Phone: (405) 228-9500
http://www.redcross.org/ok/oklahoma-city
Find other local Red Crosses by visiting http://www.redcross.org/cgi-bin/chapts-new.asp

 
Oklahoma Department of Emergency Management
Local: (405) 521-2481, Monday through Friday 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 pm
http://www.ok.gov/OEM/
 
The Salvation Army Central Oklahoma Area Command
Phone: (405) 246-1060

God Bless everyone, Jes Sofia Valle, MA MFTI


Grief & Loss

Losing someone I’ve noticed has been very hard in this lifetime. We miss the essence of the person, the moments spent and we morn the future we hoped with the person. We will no longer see them.

Something I’ve also learned is the grieving of the person has different stages in life. Why am I writing about this? Well, we have had a loss in my family and recently a few losses in this country and its hard. But more so, to actually have knowledge of what you are going through when you loose someone also helps. These feelings are called the stages of grief. The reason why this is good to know because it helps you understand and it takes away the feeling that your are going “crazy” when all you are doing is grieving. 

Now Before I tell you about these stages I must tell you that there are more ways to feel grief, its not just because you loose someone. This happens when you loose a friend, when you break up with someone, and I’m going to be true to my personality right now… moving up in the world.

There are 5 stages most human go through when they morn someone.

1 Denial It’s a defense mechanism and perfectly natural. 
2  Anger Anger can be seen in many forms ways. This all depends on a person, it can range from not saying anything to hurting themselves, to hurting other. Or Isolating. Everyone deals with sadness in their own way.  
3 Bargaining Asking God to bring them back. This is where a person ask for their loved one back. They beg God to bring them back or they even try to bargain their pain to go away. 
4 Depression
Depression is actually a clump of symptoms (sadness, not being able to eat or sleep, weight gain, loss, anger, isolation, loss of  concentration, feeling hopeless and helpless, can’t control negative thinking, irritable, short-tempenred, reckless behavior, thoughts of not worth living). Note: This can be different for children. 
5 – Acceptance

 Some emotional detachment and objectivity. This can happen before or after someone has gone out of your life.

One of the biggest things that you have to remember is that everyone lives and dies. Death is not something that we can avoid. HOWEVER, life and LIVING is something you can ENJOY.  
Life is a piece of cake. Making the cake has a process. Going through this will help you get through.
Smile (If you want) 

Mental Health, Personal Hygiene, Make-up & Style


There is something interesting about having a bad day, more interesting when that bad day can turn into a good day just because you spruced yourself up a little.

Hygiene
Personal hygiene is a frequent topic I ask when someone is sad, down, low… you name it. Why? Because usually when people are not taking care of their physical, they are not doing well inside either.  Have you had days where you just don’t want to shower and you want to stay on the couch because you are in a funk? That is what I am talking about… not always a good smelling thing eh?
You see, taking care of your personal hygiene is VERY important because It can help you feel good about yourself. It helps you not smell so others won’t look at your weird for smelling so bad, which helps decrease you feeling insecure. When you comb your hair and brush your teeth you are telling yourself that you are working to make yourself look good. You are showing yourself that you care about you. It is a habit that can happen.
Make-Up & Style
Dressing up can also help bring that bad day into a good day.  If you are a lady you can wear some make up (if you’re into that). Some Covergirl make-up can help with that along with some sweet mascara and some lipstick.
http://www.covergirl.com/beauty-products/lip-makeup/lip-glosshttp://www.covergirl.com/beauty-products/face-makeup/foundation-makeup
 


Ladies: You can dress up; use up your girl/woman card. Some cute bangles, some popping’ heals and your dreaded day becomes an “oh cool, this is cute day.”
Sometimes simple things are good for you. It helps bring back that smile, uplift you through feeling beautiful in and out.

Men:  Try a nice suit, or slacks and a button down. It’s nice to look good once in a while. If you’re in a job that doesn’t allow a button down, wear that smile and help increase that confidence.  You can always look good if you want to.
So Next time you are feeling low, sad or just in a funk, try sprucing yourself up! It doesn’t hurt, it can help.
Hope you have a beautiful day.

Smile (if you want)

 
 

When too much is too much

 

Looks like there are times where there is too much going on. We say yes to a lot and at the end of the day we need to learn to say NO. This yes thing in turn causes us stress. Did you know that stress can cause health issues? Stress is known to be associated with affecting your overall health.
Some issues that can come about stress are:

Mental health disorders, like depression and anxiety
High Blood Pressure
Obesity
Abnormal heart beats
Heart disease
High blood pressure
and other issues.

WHY can stress cause this?  Hormones. The body responds to stress by emitting stress hormones. All the flight or fight hormones come out and make things happen… stuff we don’t want to happen (see list above).

So what can you do to help decrease this stress thing?

I can tell you from my experience what I have done:

You can say NO to things. Saying Yes to everything will take a toll.
You can make a few nights where you vegg. (I make these days Catching up with Books and DVR nights)
You can stop, sit and breath (in through your nose, out through your mouth)
You can exercises: YOGA!  #dailywalks
You can do things that make you happy. 
You can catch up and talk with your friend on the phone.
Go out with your friends.
You can write in your journal.
Massage…
Dude… the list is long.

The point is that you do things that don’t cause you stress. If you are stressing over what to do to not have stress, then stop and just sit down and do nothing. Oooh Child! you need to relax before you get to the Wren & Stimpy pic. I hope this reminds you that its ok to sit and chill.

I’m off to chill more now.

Smile (if you want),

Jes Sofia

What we don’t say…

There are times in this life time where we have to be quiet. Where everything around you may seem wrong, but at the moment we have to remain quiet, and that seem right.

WHAT?!!! Coming from a person who tells you to express your feelings?

Yes! Sometimes… you just have to shut the door.

I’ve come across people who will try to use your words to make it sound like you are saying something else. Sometimes, people even use your words…they just make it up. That is what what I went though this week… So I just shut the door. Why?

Honestly, I don’t have the time. What we don’t say sometimes can be depicted wrong. However, at the end of the day, what you have to remember is what you said. People after they get to know you, will know what you have or have not said.

Also, I have noticed that stories die down, if you allow them to. Moreover! You know better! Somethings you just have to shut the door on and not worry about them.

Just keep on on with your swag.  What we don’t say will be noticed by your actions. Your actions will produce reactions. And those reactions will produce your own personal reactions.

What you think?

Am I full of it today or what?

Smile (If you want)

Jes Sofia

Find your Voice

There are many ways to find your voice. It is what a lot of people lack on a daily basis. Your voice is not just the tone that comes out of your vocal cords. Your voice is your assertiveness, your passions, what you like to talk about…you voice doesn’t even have to be verbalize; you can be an interior decorator, an artist, a writer. How you allow your creativity to be voiced.

I’ve come across an array of people who do not know how to specify their voice. They do a lot and have no targets, not “ultimate” goals. This too is part of having a voice, how will you brainstorm; create order of your thoughts to be able to allow others to understand you. How can you make it so that others are able to apply what you say into their lives? What content will you provide for your voice to be productive…after all, having a voice is awesome, but not saying anything with meaning is not…unless your voice was meant to be the voice of nonsense.

Something I tend to do before I open my mouth is to ask myself…how will what I am about to say be productive to that someone I am saying this to? (Operative words: thinking before) how will this affect them, can they take what I have to say? You are always open to say what you want, where, and when…But know what your speak of before you open your mouth to let the tone resound from vocal cords. I speak from prior experience. Talking just to talk is sometimes wasted time. Wasted time is foolish because you can be doing something productive. 

Know yourself, your wants and needs. Learn the differences of assertive and aggressive. Think before you speak (a hard one for most) and most of all, be you.  If you don’t think before you speak…hey that’s you right?

Only your voice is yours. You can sometimes sound like others, but don’t forget that your voice is yours…and that just because you speak it does not mean that people will listen. I’m a therapist I know this all to well… Don’t take it to heart. Some people are just not ready to hear you. Someday, they will. Just know you have planted your seed.

Enjoy Your Voice.

Smile (If you want)

Oxygen Mask ON?

https://bloggersofhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/airplane01-300x239.jpg

Have you flown before? If not, they go over the saying “Always place your oxygen mask on first before you you are able to help the person next to you.”

This week I went through this situation. I got the flu. The bad case of the flu. Do you know what I mean?

Flu Symptoms: 

  • Fever

As I was sitting at my desk, with my non-cherpy, low mood, not being able to talk self.  I decided to go home.  My reasoning behind that was, first of my Director had asked me how I was feeling and My answer was not so well. I began to think how I always tell people to take care of thier selves before they are able to help others. And I thought, what kind of person would I be if I did not do the same?

So this is my third day off from working. My fever is down, coughing still a bit, but I’m not causing anyone to get sick. I’m resting, placing my O2 mask on first before I go and help for next year.

Always take care of you first, you cannot help others if you are half baked. You can do better service when you are able to breath first. If you cannot breath, you cannot then be able to place the oxygen mask back on someone else who really needs your help.

Smile and Breath (If you want)

Jes Sofia