Giving too much or too little? Check yourself

Giving…

An endearing and very traditional word… Ever heard of it? 😀

“Give and you shall receive?”
“What comes around goes around.”
“Giving gets you everything?”

Although these quotes are good, GREAT even, I’m not a true believer in them. Jes say what?

I will tell you why.

1. I’m am not talking about church stuff here (ties and what not). Keep doing that if you do that, I do. I will never deteriorate you from your blessings. And if you are a believer of such things, on believe.

I’m talking about giving of self, and things…

2.If you are going to give, give wholeheartedly, with out ANY expectations.

3. Giving will not always give you something back.

4. When you give to someone, its best not to expect something because you will only become disillusioned if you do not get something back.

5. Giving is just that… giving.

The definition of Giving is…to give.

So next time you give something, don’t expect anything. Do it wholeheartedly and appreciate the fact that you are able to give.

Enjoy giving.

Giving too much?

How do you keep from giving too much? Is there such a thing? YES!

Be careful with giving too much. Make sure you are ok and well before you are able to give. “I get being passionate and just give…” but you can’t give if you don’t have. This means making sure your extra pennies are just that, extra. If you have two of everything, then you know you are able to give to others.

Again, Take care of you as you are suppose to before you are able to give.

If I say “give” one more time my friend Brian is going to GIVE me a slap in the arm…

I hope you become so well off in life, that when you have a lot, you give a lot. Those are my wishes for you’re my dearest readers! And thank you for giving me your time. 😀

Smile (If you want).

Jes Sofia Valle

Asserting yourself does not mean being aggressive…keep your balance

Asserting yourself: This does not mean being aggressive.

The lack of assertiveness is sometimes linked to a lack of self-image or prior life experiences. What you think of yourself is what you will project (to place onto) to others. There are many different ways to assert you.

But first:
1. Learn to understand yourself.
2. Think how you would like things to be.
3. What are the best ways to communicate what you want?

Think if the common reasons why you NEED assert yourself.
– How will asserting yourself help you increase your self (general)?

Before you assert yourself, don’t doubt yourself, know your true answer. This means be you, trust your instinct, be the person that you are and know the actions that you will do.

There are three parts of each assertive intervention:
1. Empathy/validation.
2. Statement of problem.
3. Statement of what you want. (read want vs. need)

How to be assertive:
Use assertive body language. Eye to eye, be serious, use facial expression; keep your voice calm and soft, not whiney or abrasive. Speak like you want to be spoken to and hear how you want to be heard.
Do not predict the person’s actions. Or Judge the other person when communicating.
Use the “I”. I want and/or need. I think, I know, WHEN I feel this due to…

Own your expressive thoughts/feeling, and opinions. If you speak, know what you are saying. Think before you say something. Sometimes we get wrapped around our emotions or become stubborn with our logical thinking that we forget to own what we say or listen to the other.

Be direct with your wants and/or needs. Details are important here. And again, know what you are asking before speaking.

Sometimes life brings us moments where we need to assert ourselves and we don’t have to time to think about all of this. HOWEVER, the more you practice this in a consistent basis, it will come to you natural to you. It takes 21-23 days to start a habit. Make this a positive habit.

Life Life, Love and Be balanced.

Smile (if you want)

Jes Sofia Valle

Balance while love is in the picture?

http://keturahweathers.theworldrace.org/blogphotos/theworldrace/keturahweathers/love2.jpg

How do you keep your balance while love is in the picture?

Love is a choice you make, to care and love someone. It is different than infatuation, obsession and lust.

So while being in a relationship how do you keep Balance?

Basics:
1. Make sure you do a (your name here) reality check.
2. Make time for your partner, not set them aside for later. Tomorrow is never promised.
3. Continue working on you.
4. Continue to strive for your goals. Make Goals for your relationship.
5. Acknowledge that change is the only constant in life.
6. You will not always get what you want, but they are not suppose to either
7. Make sure you have a support team and you learn to communicate with your partner. Not everyone knows how to react to your emotions… therefore
9. Be patient
10. Know yourself and trust yourself well enough to know the reasons why you are with your partner.
11. A relationship is give and take.
12. Communicate.

Make sure you don’t loose yourself. Continue to do your job, your business and your life… but communicate with your loved on about what you and he believe things are…what are things you respect and disrespect. What are things that you feel to be disrespectful?

Example: If you are a networking woman, what is flirting, business flirting, and taking it to the next level. (ever thought about that?)

I WISH YOU all the happiness in keeping yours balance with your loved one.

Live Life, Love and Be!

Smile (If you want)
Jes Sofia Valle

How do you make it happen with your lovey dovey?

A Woman in Pain.

LYesterday while sitting at my doctor’s office, I met a very interesting woman.

She told me about her distress… she talked like no one had heard her in years! She began to cry about her experience: She said she was hurt while picking up a trashcan at work. She fell and broke the top of her neck. (OUCH!). Imagine that. Now, she doesn’t dare to do much because she is afraid of her pain. Notice, this is not one of my patients… just another passenger in this ride called life.

So I asked her, how do keep your life balanced if you’re afraid to move much?

Woman: I don’t have a life anymore. I’m always tired, my back is stressed out and I cannot move.

JesSofia: You do know that when you don’t move your muscles get tight and your pain increases.

Woman: I don’t care. I’m old anyways (60yrs old)

JesSofia: First of all, you don’t look old. Not is 60 old… Oprah is making it the new 40. Didn’t you know this?

Woman: Laughing… oh my goodness dear, your made me laugh. I have not laughed in a very long time.

JesSofia: I’m glad I can make you smile. So now what? You know that you can smile?

Woman: I had forgotten to laugh…

JesSofia: Like you said you forgot to move your muscles?

Woman: I see what you mean.

JesSofia: I Just want to tell you that whatever you have gone through or whatever you are going through. No one can take your power but you. You create your balance. No one else. At the end of the day what you choose to feel, feel it. What you choose to accept, accept. What you choose to Deny, Deny. It is your life to make it happen for you at no matter what young age of 60 you are. I wish you well and Next time I see you, if ever, I want to see you smiling.

This woman reminded me… that you create your balance, its an allowance you allow in your life. Things happen to us sometimes, but at the end of the day we choose how to deal with it.

How do you deal with your life?

If you feel down and you cannot get out of “the low” contact your local Support team. If you are threatening to hurt yourself, there is help.

Overwhelmed, Overloaded, Game OVER?!

“I can’t even begin to find my balance!”

Is this how you feel sometimes? Or like you can’t get much done in your day because there are not enough hours in the day for you to finish?

There is a reason why there are not enough hours in the day. Why?
Because you are not suppose to do everything in one day.

Do the terms: projects, drafts mean anything to you?

If you are in the working world, then this is a yes. If you are a housewife, these terms mean a lot to you and your family. If you are a lazy person… well, you really know the definition of these because you choose not to do them. See! Everyone knows these words!

SO what now?! I hear you screaming at the computer… (eeek…hold your Trojans!)

This week, I’ve read, heard and empathized with I DON’T HAVE TIME! What about if you where to turn this around to say I DON’T MAKE TIME! Have—Make… get it? Because in the end, that’s what it really is all about in this scenario… your choice to make time.

I’m pretty sure your boss (or you) gives YOU a certain amount of days of the week to do a project. If you are not doing this or allowing this… Think about it. (Some say yeah right!)

If you are a last minute junkie, like I can be… working on it too…you are not alone![Michael we love you!] Then, make sure you have someone to help you. It’s nice to hear that you have done everything on your own, but in the end who’s complaining? Umm humm… yeah. And trust me, if you make time for friends, they will make time to help you. Give and Take…balance.

A tool to help you:

Make a To Do List and Stick to it.

Number ONE rule on your To Do List: Make time for YOU!

This means, inking breakfast lunch and dinner to this list.
Add your work out.

If you want to watch a Show and vegg.

If you have kids, they are a part of you. Don’t neglect your kids please; I will throw down (not really, but I can bring out Super Shero nagger and tell you to STOP IT!) [Insert LOL and Serious look here].

If you need time away from your kids make this a weekly event. Mani Pedi! Monday night Football! Well If I had a kid I’d be watching football with them right now! But that’s just me.

Acknowledge that if you don’t finish your list (Categories: Job and Friends)make room for it later, just not too later that you forget about it or your friends’ name. (eerrr?)

“BUT JesSofia? What about my boss getting Mad at me for not finishing a project? YOU don’t know my boss, he wants it right now!”

Communication. They will ALWAYS want their job to be done first before your kids and family. It’s a business after all. However…REALITY check! How can you work if you’re not well, and overwhelmed? Talk to them. DO it WISELY. Don’t get yourself in trouble.

Any questions???? Please ask. And you shall get an answer back to ya!

Side note: Big Ups to my friend Berenice for helping me keep balance. The best Second right hand a busy on the Go woman can have! (Ok B you can breath now, I woke up, did my walk, made breakfast and finished editing my blog.) LOL!

Smile (If you want) 😀

-Jes Sofia Valle

Criticism

Criticism

Don’t let criticism break you, let it make you. And when told to you in a rough form, let them know. Speak up after they have expressed what they are saying. Like you want to be heard, hear. Like you want to be spoken to, speak.

Take what you must from the moment and look at it as an opportunity to add something to your self that will make you stronger and better.

Also, acknowledged that not all criticism is meant for you. This doesn’t mean that you are to ignore the person, but if you know deep down in your instinctual persona that they have no idea what they are saying. Let them speak. You never know, their words you may need someday.

Accept Criticism, just not the foul attitudes that come with it.

Defend you, be you. Learn to listen to you.

Jess Sofia Valle

And smile. (If you want)

Self-Culture and Balance

Lets read about Self Culture. Self-Culture you say? 😀

Self-Culture is…

You (say it with me… ME!). Self (ME) culture is mostly based on how you conduct your life. What are the everyday things you do, say, feel, touch and hear basically all YOUR senses.

Parts of you is how you live through your own quality of life (Where you live, how you style or not style yourself, what toothpaste you use!) Moreover, you’re placed worth as person (I like to think I’m Shera sometimes). And at times how we allow society to view our persona (this is a super small part because you cannot control how other’s view you.) With Your Self Culture comes what captivates you, gives you a rise, what you require to be excellent in arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc. Self-Culture = you.

This also means knowing your ethnic culture, who you are in your ethnic culture, whether you are Latina, Mayan, Aztec, Latino, Black, Belizean, Guatemalan, African-American, American, Caucasian, Native American, Blue man group, Mexican, Asian, White Which ever Ethnic Culture that is Lucky to have you… Know that part too and how you fit or don’t fit in it.

Sounds overwhelming doesn’t it? It is not. You probably already do it and you don’t even know it.

Taking (noticed I said TAKING) balance means being you but also being aware of what “YOU” are doing. Sometimes, we become so “overwhelmed” that we feel and think that we forget to do things, go to places etc. But, If we paid more attention to our Self Culture; on the WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN AND HOW of our lives, we will then, be able to see what we want and need. AND what we don’t want and don’t need.
You can create your balance. Yes sometimes we need someone to give us a nudge, and that too is VERY OK. (I ask for nudges by my peers and friends too). But once you become aware of you and your culture, surroundings and who you are, you take even more control. Some of us need to take less control sometimes too. That is just part of the balancing act.

So here are some ways you can create balance:

* Define your day
* Remind yourself who you are (keep is positive!)
* Write things down if you must (I DO!)
* Tell yourself what you want to accomplish. (Put it out into the world so it can come to you).
* Be aware of your surroundings
* Be aware of whom you are with
* And Trust yourself to live balanced.

All this takes time to happen. They say it takes 21-23 days to start up a habit. So try it out.

Learn you, Live Life, Love and Be!
Jes Sofia Valle

I suggest you learn the word: Boundaries

I’m an advocate for taking care of “me.” And my close friends know that I was not like that before. You see… I use to be the girl that use to do over 20 projects at one time. No kidding. And I ALWAYS wanted to please everyone. But I had a REALITY CHECK! And although I was thriving, my body wasn’t, it was depleting. I saw that I was not pleasing myself, body, emotions, thoughts… Which should have been my first project.

“Even the smartest people have their air moments” JSV

I suggest you learn the word: Boundaries

These are SOME questions I ask myself before taking on a task:

1. Will this make me money?
2. Will I able to TRULY handle this?
3. What is time line this will take away from me?
4. How do I truly feel about this project?
5. Do I really want to do this?

These are reasonable questions. Questioning something you do is more profound than you think.

A scenario: We get bottled up in a routine, of which we become mechanical in doing something. Which then, may lead to you being Unhappy. You being Unhappy then allows for you to suffer more in the end. Being “unhappy” is a though. If your thinking allows your body to be chemically imbalance, then your body goes bonkers. And then, you are not even able to do what you hate or love to do because you are not there.
Sometimes, this takes a long time to happen. Sometimes you may never know that you are going through it because you are so very busy that you don’t feel it. But your body does, and you being disconnected with your body…well you already know that not well at all.

SO…next time you take another project think about your self; Your Body, Your mind, your emotions/thoughts. Place yourself first. Don’t forget about your family if you have one, or your friends if they are your family.

When you are happy, healthy and able to be on the Go, you will be able to do what you love and more! JSV

Jes: I am still working through getting better for me, so that I too can do more of what I love to do. Don’t forget it is a process. JSV

Live Life, Love and Be!

is it bad to fall asleep in Yoga class?

I went to a yoga class today. I will say I was impressed with how the lady was able to make her body move. I however, though I needed the extra push to make it happen.
I looked around and yes, I was the only round butt in the class. And people stared back at me. SO I smiled. Some didn’t smile back. Any who, this being my first time in this class, I figure I would talk to someone… boy was I ignored! I thought, well, they are probably not here to meet people anyways.

So class started. And I was very much the odd ball. Everyone had blue or black matt’s… I had a PINK one. People had lilac, blue, or white hair, and I had all black. I did all the positions that I could, and when I did not do a few, the teacher called me out on it. I replied by saying I have a stubborn Hip. A few people chuckled… and some people empathized. Oh, did I also mention I seemed to be the youngest kid in the block? Yeah… It was an interesting class.

While doing the whole relaxation stage, I went into deep sleep. I didn’t even notice when I went to sleep. The instructor told me class was over while she shook me. And there was an old lady sleeping too. So I didn’t feel so bad.

On my way out, the same old lady said, honey, I think you were in the wrong class. This was yoga for people who have arthritis. I said, babe, I’ve had a dislocated foot, hip, elbow, broken knee and two spine surgeries… I think I fit in pretty well. She laughed and said, welcome. I’m bionic too! I could not stop laughing!

It’s the small things that make me laugh. This was defiantly one of them. I hope you have a great day!