Month: August 2011

Woman’s Moment, What men can do to help.

http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/pc/lifeexplained.jpg

Have you even hear of a “woman’s moment?” This is where you feel the need to be needy and cuddled and just be the princess of the world? I will not lie, I have gone through one, two months ago!  It’s been to the point where I just wanted my significant other to just _(fill in your choice)_ to shut me up. Particularly when I’ve freaked out and I cannot use my words… It’s called a tantrum (being honest). lol

The Funny thing is that EVERY woman I know has gone through one of these ever so often. I don’t care what profession you are in, you have had one at some point. It’s a Mars vs. Venus moment and you just have to go with the flow if you want her. If you don’t, you have a great opportunity to pin it on her and jet out. (but you know you just didn’t want to put in the work). 

….At the end of the day, a woman just wants to be held, heard and felt wanted.

So MEN… here are some ways to cope through this… Are you ready?

1. Sit down and ask “What is wrong?”
2. Listen, don’t talk or try to tell her what to do (unless she asks)
3. Hug her, cuddle, kiss do your manly duties
4. Make her feel like a princess…
5. Once she is calm and happy, tell her what she did was not cool because (enter your words on how you thought and felt when she was going through it).
6. Do not shut down…. It makes it worse. It becomes a cycle and they loose trust.
7. The next time she does it follow 1-5.

With time, she will know that she doesn’t have to go through her tantrum to get your attention or be afraid that you will be mad or shut down. As long as you are consistent you will be fine and she will be happy… “Happy wife, Happy life.”  Happy Husband, Happy ____… (whatever you want to make it).

I hope this helps a little. 

Smile (if you want)

Jes Sofia

Agree or Disagree?  And women take accountability for it too. 😉

Being Treated like….

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Ever hear the saying… treat others how you want to be treated? I don’t know anyone who doesn’t say this… I say it all the time. But how about, Asked or tell others how you want to be treated– I sure don’t hear a lot of people say that…

We live in an era where unless you say how you feel on facebook, twitter or some social media people don’t really ask how you are, or communicate much at all… as in “old school” talking on the phone for hours or take the time to write a letter.  Most people are busy with their lives and really don’t make time for one another (at least this is my anecdotal view). People are so busy.. working, taking care of kids, cooking, Making sure the world is turning. Om I’m blabbing now… back to the point.

SO… Why do you allow yourself to be treated how you don’t want to be? Or even why do you allow others to be treated in a mal form?

I can guess… you don’t want to cause trouble… right?

Well… I have some news… There is something called speaking out, Ever heard of it? LOL (not being mean… your probably saying, don’t write to me like that!) Well, good for you if you are!

Speaking up, saying  how you want to be treated, telling them your needs, wants, thoughts, and feelings to someone else is telling them how, what, when, where, why you want things done that way. The way I see it, if someone doesn’t tell me, they can’t be mad at me because

1. I cannot read minds
2. I cannot read minds
3. There is no reason to be mad at me if I did something you did not like if you did not tell me you do not like that… How AM I SUPPOSE to know?
4. I cannot read minds and
5. I’m not a mind reader.   I think i got my point across.

There is however, self accountability, meaning…if you feel or KNOW you have offended, hurt or made someone mad, follow up with your instincts.  Ask the person to please…Don’t be mad when I ask because I’m actually asking.  A way you can say this is… “Hey, I’m going to ask you something, but I want to listen to your answer, not want to have to guess or move away because of anger.” Sometimes people will say… yeah man or wo-man, you did this and this made me feel or think…. or sometimes people will say, nope.  And if they say no, you have to take that for face value.  They cannot (well, they can, but not cool if they do) and say hey your an idiot and you didn’t know…. You did your part to ask.

SO… again, The next time you are not being treated how you want to be treated, tell the person. Don’t go all ghetto talking about… uhg.. you Beep beep beep you.. you are beep.. non-of that kids…
Be open and calm about it… people respond better when you are calm (because they are listening and not trying to avoid the drama).

I hope you speak up. How do you like to be treated?

Smile (if you want)
Jes Sofia

My Story with L’Occitane

Shea Butter Extra Gentle Soap - Lavender
My story with L’Occitane
Onc day, My mom came home from work…with a HUGE bar of soap. I was use not knowing what i was washing myself with… but at age 13, I found out what it meant to be happy with washing myself. She had given me a Bar of Lavandar L’Occitane. The smell…. its like sitting in a field of lavander plants… where the day is crispy, the sun warm and you hear the birds flying by… peaceful. It has been the only thing at the end of my day that helps me reduce my tension after a SUPER duper interesting day of hearing my awesome patient’s lives.
I get home, shower and get ready for bed. It such a relaxing sent I buy the whole set. I’ve used it since I was 13… I don’t think I will stop.
Funny thing was that two weeks ago my dad asked me where he could get the same type of soap. It was nice. I had, of course, an extra bar. So i gave it to him… now I buy double when I go to the store. Since I was 13… can’t beat that for loyalty.
I say you try it. Let me know how much you like it! 🙂
Smile (if you want)

Being Sad does not always mean you are Depressed.

Have you ever heard someone tell you that they are feeling depressed? And the first thing you think of is sadness? I do ALL the time, I mean after all I’m a Psychotherapist. Kinda in my Job description right?

Well, Here is a big misnomer. Being Sad does NOT always mean you are depressed.
Being sad is a feeling. Being Depressed is Diagnosis.

So What is depression? Here is what depression is…
Depression may occur at almost any stage of life. A child, teen or a middle or old age person can have it. It can be caused by various ways, which then lead to chemical changes in the brain. And example of these variables can be, biological changes, social isolation, getting older, genetic traits, emotional losses, traumatic experiences,  and dysfunctional interpersonal relationships, are some of the main common triggers for the symptoms of depression.
There are many types of depression, which include major depressive disorder, bipolar depressive disorder, psychotic depressive disorder, postpartum depression, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, and seasonal disorder. All these are diagnosed through a clinician and are according to the time and length of the symptoms.  
Symptoms vary according to the individual. Five or more of the following symptoms must be present during the same 2-week period.
  • Trouble sleeping or excessive sleeping (nearly everyday)
  • A dramatic change in appetite, often with weight gain or loss (5% +/- in a month)
  • Fatigue and lack of energy
  • Feelings of worthlessness, self-hate, inappropriate guilt, feels sad and empty
  • Extreme difficulty concentrating
  • Agitation, restlessness, and irritability
  • Inactivity and withdrawal from usual activities (loss of pleasure in things)
  • Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness (nearly everyday)
  • Recurring thoughts of death or suicide (not just fear of dying)
Possible Situational Times:
  • During The teen years,  children go through hormonal changes… you remember those? where no one could tell you anything?  
  • Prego women…after childbirth. 
  • Women, before, during menopause.
  • Any life altering change.
  • Men during their MENopause… they begin to loose testosterone. (grumpy old men).
  • Grandparents becoming mean after 60 because their hearts don’t work the same. 
  •  Your back is in a lot of pain all or some of the time. 
  • You have cancer or any other type of medical diagnosis; this can be a hard time.   
 So next time you say I am depressed… think about it. Are you self diagnosing yourself or are you FEELING sad? 
I hope this helps.  
Smile (if you want),

Micheal Kors … My Love has done it yet Again!

 

So Today I went to the Michael Store at The grove, as usual, and I found a new treasure!
The new Michael Kors Hamilton Tote… Did someone say I feel in LOVE?! You heard me right! I love it so much I’m writing about it…and you know I’m picky about the Fashion I write about.

I saw it and it made me think….How cute I will look wearing one on my next trip to Hawaii to see my handsome man. (Sorry Michael Kors, I am taken). 😀 I was thinking of one of these….Some Jeans, Pony Tail, a sport jacket, a cami and Some cute boots… (winter is coming, the boots are coming out!).

Which one would you choose?
MICHAEL Michael Kors MICHAEL Michael Kors Hamilton Large Tote, Indigo

MICHAEL Michael Kors MICHAEL Michael Kors Hamilton Large Tote, Mocha Distressed
MICHAEL Michael Kors Hamilton Large Tote, Mocha Distressed

348.00

Are your Ideas becoming your reality?

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There is a lot going on in the financial world recently… points going down in the market, then back up and back down as if a snotty 7 year old was playing yo-yo… Where is the safety in that?

I doubt you have really thought about it, a lot of us have are so busy in our Mico aspect of our lives, that we forget to include the Macro (overall picture). Like… where will we be in 5-10 years.

Think about it… in 5-10 years? I have heard a lot of people tell me, I stopped asking that back in high school or collage because I was young then… well I have news for you! You are STILL not old. (you can hug me for that compliment later…LOL)  Most people don’t even start to begin to be settled by age 30. (and for those that are younger and establish Hurray!)

So what are you going to do about that?

I present this…. 13 Feet 13 Inches Take a look at it and think about it.
Let them know how they can help you. Helping your Ideas come to Life.

www.13feet13inches.com


Robbed

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Have you ever been robbed?

Its most horrific experience I have even been though. And I’ve been through a lot… with surgeries and what not…

I feel like someone came and took my safety away.
Like no mater how long or how much I’ve been in my home and spent time to decorate it or what not… I want to move.

I wonder… Do people who come into people’s home, and steal, ever think of the person they are stealing from? And if they are, are they not afraid of possible consequences?

I wonder, If I will feel safe again living in this home. Let alone, I’m always happy…I’m not feeling so happy today.  This one was totally unexpected. I don’t even know how to explain it. I can only imagine how it feels when you are in the home while being robbed. I don’t even want to imagine to be honest.

But I’m still alive. And with time, I know I will safe again. Just have to give it time the cop said.

So with this I leave you a thought, Something I’m telling myself over and over right now…
  Let no one take away your safety, or anything you don’t give them. If for some reason they they try to, always remember you are in the situation you change it.

And please if you have emotions, use them… they help…let it out… you don’t want to be angry keep it inside and not be able to express it… Hence my weirdo blog today…

I won’t lie, I’m super scared…and I’m looking at new places to live as I write this.

Have a safe night,

Jes

TIME

http://www.quietspacing.com/wp-content/MakingTime.jpg
Make Time 

We are soooo busy. We have life going on and its on and on and on and on….

So when do you have time for your friends or mate? >>>>ANSWER: When you make time.

You see, time is there, it will always be there, until its not..because your gone, yet time remains. But when you choose to make time for someone, no matter how busy you are… you are letting them know… Hey you, I’m taking time out of my busy schedule because I like to spend time with you.

Personally These are the things I do to my friends and lovey to show them I appreciate them, or I’m thinking about them.

  1. I tell them I miss them or that I’m thinking about them. 
  2. I ask to schedule some time with them 
  3. I cook lunch or dinner
  4. I ask for their time… they are busy too… can’t expect them to be waiting on you alllll the time. 🙂 
  5. I am direct, there is no “Oh babe… i really would like to go to Santa Barbara SOMEDAY.” I say hey, when are you going to make time so we can go to Santa Barbara? With a smile 🙂
  6. Be assertive, but not rude! Your woman or man will be turned off as fast as they got turned on if you are rude. This all depends on your relationships… there are passive or aggressive people out there… you fall in one or the other or both…Yes, No one is perfect. Personally I like… wait I won’t go there…LOL
  7. Smile, kiss and hug. 

Are there any other things you do to help you keep your romance going as you MAKE time for your friends and loved ones?

Talk to me.

Smile (if you want)
Jes Sofia