Category: Mental Health

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RESPECT Yourself

In school teachers teach us to respect others, keeping our hands to ourselves…etc. The basics.

What are some ways we can educate ourselves to be good examples of RESPECT?

  • Be confident :
    • This means trust you and Your Instinct  
    • When you look in the mirror, don’t dislike yourself. Uplift yourself. 
    • Learn to set limits 
      • Don’t let others run over you. Its painful and this can be avoided. 
        • Love you. 
        • Focus on you and your strengths. 
    • Respect others
      • Do onto others… how you treat others is how others will treat you. 
      • If others continue being mean, assert yourself, “nip it in the bud” and continue respecting them 
        • This means being kind, understanding. (kill them with your wonderful kindness and respect) Some people need to be broken down slowly. Allowing them their personal time/space.
    • Care for you.  THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE
      • This means taking care for your ALL.  Not just the physical aspects but your whole self, emotions, spirituality, thoughts.
      • Learn to Forgive: No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgive yourself and Live, love and be the greatness that you are.
      • This also means surrounding yourself around people that at positive. People that will uplift you, not place you down. The people you surround yourself with will be how other will associate you with. 

    I hope that you continue to respect yourself and others. Keeping yourself Balanced is important.

    Live, Love and Be a wonderful respectful you and Smile (If you want)

    Jes Sofia Valle

    What do you get out of being respected?

    Welcome to our Silly crazy Best friend lives.

    Jessofia: This is called Carne Asada… Know about that Berenice??? HAHA Guess how I made it B!

    Berenice: YUUUUUUMMM… I have no idea how you made it.. but I want some.. ( oh and I’m sure the boys would love some too … )

    Jessofia: I  added Brown Sugar, Beer, Whesthsishisishre sauce onions and left it to simmer with a tad bit of BBQ sauce.  Then I bought that lettuce stuff… and added Balsamic ving.  BALSAMIIIIIIIC

    Berenice: worcheeesie sauce.. is it wrong to drool in a post?  =p~

    Asserting yourself does not mean being aggressive…keep your balance

    Asserting yourself: This does not mean being aggressive.

    The lack of assertiveness is sometimes linked to a lack of self-image or prior life experiences. What you think of yourself is what you will project (to place onto) to others. There are many different ways to assert you.

    But first:
    1. Learn to understand yourself.
    2. Think how you would like things to be.
    3. What are the best ways to communicate what you want?

    Think if the common reasons why you NEED assert yourself.
    – How will asserting yourself help you increase your self (general)?

    Before you assert yourself, don’t doubt yourself, know your true answer. This means be you, trust your instinct, be the person that you are and know the actions that you will do.

    There are three parts of each assertive intervention:
    1. Empathy/validation.
    2. Statement of problem.
    3. Statement of what you want. (read want vs. need)

    How to be assertive:
    Use assertive body language. Eye to eye, be serious, use facial expression; keep your voice calm and soft, not whiney or abrasive. Speak like you want to be spoken to and hear how you want to be heard.
    Do not predict the person’s actions. Or Judge the other person when communicating.
    Use the “I”. I want and/or need. I think, I know, WHEN I feel this due to…

    Own your expressive thoughts/feeling, and opinions. If you speak, know what you are saying. Think before you say something. Sometimes we get wrapped around our emotions or become stubborn with our logical thinking that we forget to own what we say or listen to the other.

    Be direct with your wants and/or needs. Details are important here. And again, know what you are asking before speaking.

    Sometimes life brings us moments where we need to assert ourselves and we don’t have to time to think about all of this. HOWEVER, the more you practice this in a consistent basis, it will come to you natural to you. It takes 21-23 days to start a habit. Make this a positive habit.

    Life Life, Love and Be balanced.

    Smile (if you want)

    Jes Sofia Valle

    Overwhelmed, Overloaded, Game OVER?!

    “I can’t even begin to find my balance!”

    Is this how you feel sometimes? Or like you can’t get much done in your day because there are not enough hours in the day for you to finish?

    There is a reason why there are not enough hours in the day. Why?
    Because you are not suppose to do everything in one day.

    Do the terms: projects, drafts mean anything to you?

    If you are in the working world, then this is a yes. If you are a housewife, these terms mean a lot to you and your family. If you are a lazy person… well, you really know the definition of these because you choose not to do them. See! Everyone knows these words!

    SO what now?! I hear you screaming at the computer… (eeek…hold your Trojans!)

    This week, I’ve read, heard and empathized with I DON’T HAVE TIME! What about if you where to turn this around to say I DON’T MAKE TIME! Have—Make… get it? Because in the end, that’s what it really is all about in this scenario… your choice to make time.

    I’m pretty sure your boss (or you) gives YOU a certain amount of days of the week to do a project. If you are not doing this or allowing this… Think about it. (Some say yeah right!)

    If you are a last minute junkie, like I can be… working on it too…you are not alone![Michael we love you!] Then, make sure you have someone to help you. It’s nice to hear that you have done everything on your own, but in the end who’s complaining? Umm humm… yeah. And trust me, if you make time for friends, they will make time to help you. Give and Take…balance.

    A tool to help you:

    Make a To Do List and Stick to it.

    Number ONE rule on your To Do List: Make time for YOU!

    This means, inking breakfast lunch and dinner to this list.
    Add your work out.

    If you want to watch a Show and vegg.

    If you have kids, they are a part of you. Don’t neglect your kids please; I will throw down (not really, but I can bring out Super Shero nagger and tell you to STOP IT!) [Insert LOL and Serious look here].

    If you need time away from your kids make this a weekly event. Mani Pedi! Monday night Football! Well If I had a kid I’d be watching football with them right now! But that’s just me.

    Acknowledge that if you don’t finish your list (Categories: Job and Friends)make room for it later, just not too later that you forget about it or your friends’ name. (eerrr?)

    “BUT JesSofia? What about my boss getting Mad at me for not finishing a project? YOU don’t know my boss, he wants it right now!”

    Communication. They will ALWAYS want their job to be done first before your kids and family. It’s a business after all. However…REALITY check! How can you work if you’re not well, and overwhelmed? Talk to them. DO it WISELY. Don’t get yourself in trouble.

    Any questions???? Please ask. And you shall get an answer back to ya!

    Side note: Big Ups to my friend Berenice for helping me keep balance. The best Second right hand a busy on the Go woman can have! (Ok B you can breath now, I woke up, did my walk, made breakfast and finished editing my blog.) LOL!

    Smile (If you want) 😀

    -Jes Sofia Valle

    Criticism

    Criticism

    Don’t let criticism break you, let it make you. And when told to you in a rough form, let them know. Speak up after they have expressed what they are saying. Like you want to be heard, hear. Like you want to be spoken to, speak.

    Take what you must from the moment and look at it as an opportunity to add something to your self that will make you stronger and better.

    Also, acknowledged that not all criticism is meant for you. This doesn’t mean that you are to ignore the person, but if you know deep down in your instinctual persona that they have no idea what they are saying. Let them speak. You never know, their words you may need someday.

    Accept Criticism, just not the foul attitudes that come with it.

    Defend you, be you. Learn to listen to you.

    Jess Sofia Valle

    And smile. (If you want)

    is it bad to fall asleep in Yoga class?

    I went to a yoga class today. I will say I was impressed with how the lady was able to make her body move. I however, though I needed the extra push to make it happen.
    I looked around and yes, I was the only round butt in the class. And people stared back at me. SO I smiled. Some didn’t smile back. Any who, this being my first time in this class, I figure I would talk to someone… boy was I ignored! I thought, well, they are probably not here to meet people anyways.

    So class started. And I was very much the odd ball. Everyone had blue or black matt’s… I had a PINK one. People had lilac, blue, or white hair, and I had all black. I did all the positions that I could, and when I did not do a few, the teacher called me out on it. I replied by saying I have a stubborn Hip. A few people chuckled… and some people empathized. Oh, did I also mention I seemed to be the youngest kid in the block? Yeah… It was an interesting class.

    While doing the whole relaxation stage, I went into deep sleep. I didn’t even notice when I went to sleep. The instructor told me class was over while she shook me. And there was an old lady sleeping too. So I didn’t feel so bad.

    On my way out, the same old lady said, honey, I think you were in the wrong class. This was yoga for people who have arthritis. I said, babe, I’ve had a dislocated foot, hip, elbow, broken knee and two spine surgeries… I think I fit in pretty well. She laughed and said, welcome. I’m bionic too! I could not stop laughing!

    It’s the small things that make me laugh. This was defiantly one of them. I hope you have a great day!

    Soy Chi Tea Latte (AKA Addiction)

    What is an Addiction?

    To me, my addiction is a Soy Chi Tea Latte. I have been addicted to it since I learned about Starbucks. My awesome dealer. However, with out it, Or any Latte, I become irritable. I might not show it because my mind set is prone to be happy. Nevertheless, I feel it.

    So what about it makes me want it? For me, it is a habit. You see, every morning I walk about a mile+. What I do after my walk is sit down and relax. I ask the Barista for ice, of which I get a super small cup and I place it directly on my back. Then, I get my Latte and sit and relax. Usually I sit down on the leather couch and observe. As you know, I’m a therapist… I am super good an observing people and not reacting to their actions. That’s neither here nor there… Or is it?
    In my daily habitual tendency, which I have attached to my relief of my daily walk, I have added the component of relief and positivity, therefore making myself believe that a latte is a sort of relief.
    So what do I have to do? I will transfer my Latte to water. It takes 21 days for a behavior to become a habit. So from now on, I will continue working on the positive and instead of a Latte, I will drink Water. I will still be drinking something, But It will be something to hydrate me, less calories, more like no calories and I will therefore decrease calories, not dehydrate myself. (Yes people, coffee actually dehydrates you). And be healthy, hydrated and will not become irritated when I don’t have the drink of WATER.

    So the Next time you go for a coffee, LATTES, or your daily Beer … think about your body. How will you be a few years from now? And Replace it with something that will enhance you OR attend a program that will allow you to take control of your addiction/the habit you “need.” After all, it’s you, your health and the people you live with that will be affected.
    You have to place you first, but life is not just all about you.
    Do your Best in Life,

    JSV
    Addiction:

    “The state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.”

    “Addict – someone who is so ardently devoted to something that it resembles an addiction; “a golf addict”; “a car nut”; “a bodybuilding freak”; “a news junkie”
    Addict – to cause (someone or oneself) to become dependent (on something, especially a narcotic drug)
    Addict – someone who is physiologically dependent on a substance; abrupt deprivation of the substance produces withdrawal symptoms”