When you don’t have…

Something I’ve learned in life is that people will judge you when you don’t have…

When you don’t have something that they do because they think that you cannot experience it.  Not having something does not mean that you cannot understand, want to understand or cannot relate with someone/something with in a similar situation. I’ve learned that you can still understand or at least try to. Along with there are people who do understand… Can I say understand one last time please? I just did! (I feel like Joey in the Friends episode where he recited Chandler and Rachels Wedding bit… Share, give, recieve, share, recieve and give, give, recieve and share or something like that.. anywho).

I have written about this before that I have Chronic pain, and Neuropathy (I cannot feel my calves and I get unannounced numbness, heat and tingles down my legs or other parts of my beautiful body. Like right now, my bottom lip is numb). Granted, I have had better days, but everyday I wake up stiff, I go for a walk to shake off the stiffness… yet you cannot see my pain. You cannot see me in pain because I have chosen to smile and move beyond it, not allowing it to hinder me or stop me now.  So when it comes to issues of Pain, I have learned that EVERY SINGLE person has a different experience, but there are similarities in how we cope, in how we treat and how we have grown through our difficulties.

This summer I had an amazing discussion with Laurita who has spina bifida and hydrocephalus. We laughed about the dark humor we hold when it comes to our pain. How we have made music of the hard thumping an MRI’s makes while they are making sure our spines are ok. We discussed how laughter has been our promoter instead of the morphine or vicodine pills.

I told her of how at age 11, I was addicted to codine because I had hip dysplasia and My mother noticed that I would ask for the medication even before I had pain because I was afraid of pain. And you know what? I learned how to use medication the right way. I could have steered the other way.

We even discussed of the Celebrities we have met because of us being children in Pain. Believe it or not, the pain brought us good luck. LOL. We have chosen to see life in its positive form. Instead of complaining about our ongoing pain all the time, we have become advocates in educating and spreading the word on Health. We don’t have perfect bodies, and we work daily to improve ourselves. I’ve learned that I’m not alone in this journey. That other than God, someone else understands me even though we don’t have the same pain or the same diagnosis. I’ve also learned that I have similarities with healthy pain free people too! Who would have thunk it! 🙂

So the next time you think that no one could ever understand you, you are both wrong and right.  No one will ever be you and/or your type of pain (Physical or Mental). But there are people out there going through something everyday. If people want to understand you, they will make time to know you more. Take the time to show that they want to be there for you. You will also come across some people who are not fit to see you in pain… and that too is ok. That just makes them not fit for you while in pain. That doesn’t mean that there are not other people WHO DO want to help you. I learned that this summer too. It doesn’t make you or them any less of a person when someone doesn’t fit you.

I hope the next time you feel out of place, in pain, emotional pain, worried, alone, happy and even excited, know that you are not alone. And… that there are a lot of people who understand, it just takes you to tell people what you are going through, they will be there for you. I’ve learned how to do that too.

I hope this October 25-27 you join us (Laurita C., Helen T., Alex M., Jessica O and yours Truly) at the LATISM‘s conference as we discuss “The Role of Bloggers in Health Education.”

Smile (if you want),

Jes Sofia Valle

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