Teaching Your Child Respect: Rules and Consequences: How to Implament. (ages 4-9) Part 2
I have been writing this one since last week because with out practice (Role-play) it will be a bit interesting to implement, so I am re-writing this as simple as possible with examples.
*Something I forgot to mention last time was that its good to coordinate with one or two of the school rules with your list so that your child can associate home rules like school rules. Most kids this age range follow school rules because that is not only habitual for them, but most teachers have awesome Behavior Charts ( I give you tips with that too).*
Before the Next step: Make a list of all of their THINGS your child likes (DS, WII, Playing outside…etc)
From this List high-lite the ones that you think would work well in helping you during consequences time and provide a time… Don’t take education, coloring or basic living (eating) ones away. You don’t want to be neglectful.
For the next step set aside a day you are home: Make it happen.
Now that you have the rules done.
How will you implement them? Well…here we go!
1. Explain the rules to your children. Let them know why you are placing rules in your home (DON’T BLAME THEM … ie. I’m putting rules because YOU don’t know how to behave. The last thing they will listen to is you after you make them feel bad). Would you like it if I told you your not good so I’m going to make you have rules? Umm humm. So There you go.
2. While explaining, Observe and state their positives. Remember the list I suggest you make in Part 1? We are using it. Here is where you tell your child, (ie…You are an awesome son/daughter, You can read, play, etc). Acknowledge the good things about your child as you convey the rules. If you acknowledge them while doing so, you will make it into a positive memory and the chances of them listening to you are higher.
3. After you have explained the rules to your child, have them choose a place (usually the common area, back of the front door or the refrigerator) anywhere where it is visible to the child, where it is eye level/ visible and But at the same time where they cannot rip it off the wall roll it up and hide it from you. LOL Yes it happens more often than you think…
4. Now that you have explained it, and you (usually parents/caregivers in child’s life do it together for cohesion and consistency) have posted it up, Ask your child about the home rules. Your personality usually shows up here too… make it a matter of fact and fun.
- (Huh? fact and fun?… I usually act like Colombo and say “Oh you know we where just doing something, and I forgot what?! Child: You forgot?!!! You: Yeah! Help me yeah?…)
- Have the child recite the rules back to you. This way you know they not only can read them, or they can see them. (if a child is non- reading level yet, make your rules into pictures and write down the rule next to it).
great advice. I think any mom could use these helpful hints!