therapy

Iron Deficiency Anemia: The Feels of it all

I recently when through infusions for Iron Deficiency Anemia a long and interesting process. I can tell you this… OUCH! and Ahhhh-ayeeee! Where words I used when I was going through the process. So earlier this year I took some time because there were many variables telling me to rest. I had just come back from rest, and yet, I did not feel rested. Working with families and communities can be a lot, and it wasn’t what was keeping me tired, because I felt alive while helping. How can I help others when I kept coughing and feeling low of energy? There was something else, something I felt was not right. Month after month I kept feeling tired and had continued low energy. My atoms, neurons, and connections did not seem to be working, I was not my bubbly, energy fused me. I tried very hard to continue me…but that in itself made me sad because it was no longer normal. I wasn’t able to pass test that I was taking, I felt depleted, distracted and some depressive symptoms fell upon me. I didn’t know what it was, I knew I didn’t suffer from depression, or maybe it was my first episode, I thought. I knew all the symptoms after diagnosing many people after ten years as Marriage and Family Therapist, and I knew how they looked on others. I was dumb founded that I was feeling this low of energy. I wasn’t motivated. I wasn’t doing the same in all areas of my life. So I looked through Depression symptoms: (The pink I felt)

“Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches” (Mayo Clinic, 2017 1)

I sought help. I called my doctor and we could not understand why my asthma had increased, why I was coughing so much, why my head hurt, by body ached and my spine and muscles where flaring up (had two prior spine surgeries). I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. When he took my blood (Red Life Syrup), he was scared for my life. My Red Life syrup was like OMGOSH YOU ARE OFFICIALLY A ZOMBIE! Well…maybe a Vampire!… as I needed life syrup. 0.o The counts…they where low (no pun intended, well maybe), more than Half low in life syrup I was informed, and my Iron numbers where also super low. I had elevated numbers of inflammation and so I was treated for a chest infection, and ear infection with anti-biotic and loads of cranberry juice and green juice where my friend. I joined an amazing support group online to see “What the heck!!!” lol My doctors were amazing and they had me on Iron 325 mg 3xs daily and loads of greens and iron foods. I even opened up to my Facebook friends and I was even cooking on an Iron skillet thanks to my Register dietitian friends advice.

I was like, WOW, really lady?! My doctor who knows me very well personality, positivity and all that comes with my awesome self package was like “this is not you.” For him to tell me he was scared, I got permission to worry. I looked and felt depleted. Dark circles under my eyes, shaking like I was with Chanklas (sandals) and a robe in the snow and my nails where purple, always braking and I felt brittle. I couldn’t sleep and I felt pain. You would think I could sleep long ends, but it was the opposite. I went for days without sleep. I took Netflix and Chill to a whole new level… LOL It was me and Pillow. When I felt energy I ran to Mr. Snow. Where my Chills and shaking looked normal and being Blue was a normal thing. I felt like I was breathing clean air, and breathing hard was normal. I thought it was just pollution messing me up sometimes too. And when I slept, thanks to Norcos due to pain, I woke up feeling drowsy, muggy, like I just got up from being dead. I wasn’t me. I kept feeling buzzed, like I had taken two cups of wine instead of one, even when not on pain meds.

@-@

“Iron deficiency anemia is a common type of anemia — a condition in which blood lacks adequate healthy red blood cells. Red blood cells carry oxygen to the body’s tissues.” (Mayo Clinic, 2017)

“Initially, iron deficiency anemia can be so mild that it goes unnoticed. But as the body becomes more deficient in iron and anemia worsens, the signs and symptoms intensify.

Iron deficiency anemia signs and symptoms may include:

Extreme fatigue
Weakness
Pale skin
Chest pain, fast heartbeat or shortness of breath
Headache, dizziness or lightheadedness
Cold hands and feet
Inflammation or soreness of your tongue
Brittle nails
Unusual cravings for non-nutritive substances, such as ice, dirt or starch
Poor appetite, especially in infants and children with iron deficiency anemia” (Mayo Clinic, 2017)

After months of diagnosing and waiting for my body to heal, medicines that stopped my Life Syrup depletions monthly and loads of abdominal checks, I had a small surgery in hopes that was the cause of why… and after that I still felt low. I had iron infusion therapy, the red pill was not working and eating greens and healthy Iron filled foods where like nothing. So Therapy it was, where I was placed in a large room with others going through similar weakness, and others going through becoming weaker battling cancer and other conditions… I then understood that Anemia was not like any other battle, and when others said “OH ITS JUST MY ANEMIA” I understood that they had found their peace to being ironwomen and ironmen. I understood that it was a battle for your life on an everyday scale and sadness and emotions that came with it where due to the health diagnosis. After all, our thoughts are fused with our body as our brain is held in it. I had diagnosed “due to General Medical Condition” I understood it from an educational level and years of observation… and now, I knew of it as experienced it. It’s both mental and physical staying alive. I never understood why there was such separation. Thank God I am bubbly again. I feel energy and I’m exercising and being once with nature and hike daily walks again. I have my bad and good days like anyone else… but I get through it. I’ll begin to work again and yours and My prayers worked, and God made some amazing doctors to help me through my process.

Get help when you don’t feel like yourself.

Sharing is Caring: My doctors

Smile (if you want),

Jes

Criticism in Relationships

Does Criticism belong in a Relationship? When asking this question we should always look at the true definition of the word. In this case the word is ‘criticism’. Criticism as defined by the Oxford Dictionary “The expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.” This term often elicits feelings of negativity and results in one feeling defensive to the statements made. Other terms that may appear less offensive are; assessment, critique, evaluation, or observation. Truly they all have the same intent, which is to constructively identify areas for improvement.

As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I have had experience helping families and have done extensive research on the subject of criticism in relationships. One cannot have a truly healthy relationship with another if unable to express areas of improvement. This results in the relationship becoming unbalanced and creates resentment and hostility. No one wants that in their romantic relationship. The romantic relationship is about developing a healthy and balanced partnership in which both parties equally work to develop and strengthen this partnership over time.

Terms such as ‘constructive criticism’ have been developed to help ease the uncomfortable blow of being told that one is not performing to expected or needed standards. One popular technique with giving criticism effectively is often referred to as the ‘sandwich’ or ‘hamburger’ technique. In a nutshell, this is to deliver a strength, problem, and strength. However this requires much more skill and is not that simple. The following is generally a good technique:

Self-evaluation: Check your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Ensure that your intentions are to improve the relationship versus wanting to complain.
Timing: Never do this in the heat of the moment when you are feeling angered by what you are wanting to criticize. This will simply lead to a fight. Timing also needs to be considered for the other person. It is often helpful to ask for a good time to talk. This will help the other person be prepared and more open to listening
Positive Acknowledgement: Start off by acknowledging what your partner does right! If you can identify some things that are even related to what you want to criticize, this will be an added benefit. We all want to know what to do as well as what not to do. Include a significant amount of praise when doing this.
Constructively Criticize: You want to state the criticism with a suggestion. This helps to offer a solution, and most importantly use “I-statements” whenever possible!

“I notice when things have been stressful for you and I need help, the response is often in a harsh tone. This makes me feel upset and avoid asking for help. Please use a calm tone when responding to me or ask me if I can give you time to be in a better space, before you help me.”

This will help the other person to know how it impacts you along with showing understanding and offering an alternative solution.

Positive feedback: remind them what they do right and, if possible, examples that are related of times they did things right. Be sure to thank them for being the partner they are and for listening to you.

Encourage feedback: encourage them to share their feelings and thoughts and listen to and truly consider what they have to say. Make sure you are ready for some constructive criticism yourself.

Recourses:

http://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-healthy/value-of-constructive-criticism.aspx

http://www.families.com/blog/marriage-tips-constructive-criticism

http://www.portofpeacecounseling.com/2013/08/09/8-tips-to-give-your-spouse-constructive-criticism-lovingly/

http://www.unh.edu/hr/sites/unh.edu.hr/files/pdfs/tool-2.pdf

Michelle Natale LMFT

Michelle is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been working with youth and families for over 17 years.

Michelle graduated from Chapman University with her Masters in Psychology; emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy.

Michelle earned her bachelor’s degree in Psychology from California State University at Northridge.

When You Hit Your Low

In life we ALL go through the lows…

Sometimes is just plain luck, or sometimes its the wrong choices.
Regardless of what happened…know that when you’ve hit bottom, all you can do is go up.

Here are some beginner steps to help you through your getting up moments.

1. Phone a friend or relative you know. Someone that had had empathy and compassion towards you for most or all of your life. WHY? because a person who is able to give you empathy and compassion will be able to guide you towards where you can begin to grow and get up. Now warning, not everyone you reach out for will be there for you. AND THAT IS OK. That doesn’t mean they don’t want to, some people just can’t at that moment.

2. Make a plan of where you what you want to do next week. Yes, next week. Not next month, but next week.

3. Go through your records and make sure you are stable. If you are not, make a plan to get stable.

4. Pray. Or meditate. Or do what you do to relax, and give you strength.

5. Call up a friend who will talk to you and understand your dilemma.

6. Take a shower, get ready and go for a brisk walk.

7. Eat food.

8. Take a nap. then get up and do things that will get you physically moving.

9. Have a partner? Have sex! Having sex, making love protected please because you don’t want to bring a kid into this worlds with all your issues.

10. Know and trust that you will be ok.

Hope this gives you some hope. You are not the only one that goes through the lows. EVERYONE goes through the lows. Some don’t show it online, and some people only put happy online. But rest assure that you are not the only one who goes through the lows.

Hope this helped!

If you are in crisis and you want to do harm to yourself, please call 911. Or call the National Helpline:

What is SAMHSA’s National Helpline?

SAMHSA’s National Helpline (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service) is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental health and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Callers can also order free publications and other information.

Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit the online treatment locators.

Sexual Abuse: The Fear Was Real

I was about 7-8 Years Old. And I was introduced to a male part. I didn’t love him. I didn’t know him. I didn’t know what was being done to me. But I knew he hurt me. He was a distant relative. My mouth was shut every time he hurt me. He told me I would loose my family if I said anything. I would fear every time and I wanted to tell someone. I told my teacher that I was still sad about my aunts death 5 years later when I cried uncontrollably in class. She gave me a bunny to help me through the pain. Then I dislocated my hip. This was my blessing. He did not touch me after that. He got married then he went to jail.

I never said anything until I told my therapist and they helped me tell my parents. I was 28 years old. My parents provided love and understanding. My parents never knew and they where in disbelief, yet believed all I said. They where there in more ways than one. At our kitchen table one night… When I told them my aweful experience. I felt free to have completed my own Trauma Focus Narrative with my parents. They read it. And we hugged. I reminded them that it wasn’t their fault and they asked questions. My father was filled with anger and my mother cried. Not at me, for me. It was ok to tell my story while he was still alive. I felt free, empowered, filled with freedom and my family was still ok, alive and well. I told my best friends. They where supportive and many didn’t know what to say. But I knew that they were my sisters and they wouldn’t leave me because of it.

I want you to know that you will always have someone that cares. That even if they are not your family, someone will be there for you. I struggle through a lot of fear because of someone else’s choice upon me.

I decided to take control of me, the only person I can control and I made someone out of me. I’ve worked through a lot of pain in my life time, both emotional and physical. And I want you to know that your not alone in this.

If you need someone to listen or help you through the moments where you feel you won’t make it… Call for help.

National Help Line:
Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit the online treatment locators.

You too can overcome sexual abuse, excel in life with love, compassion and style. I learned that I’m not broken. In deed, I learned that I’m fabulous and don’t I know it!

Kindly,

JesSofia Valle
Founder of Bloggers of Health.

Age 33

Fitness For Busy Professionals

#85406128 / gettyimages.com

By Helen Troncoso

RENEW. REFOCUS. REINVENT.

Let’s face it, not everyone has a few hours everyday to spend at the gym. To top it off, our obesity epidemic continues to rise despite the increasing number of gyms available each year. Lucky for you, fitness doesn’t only happen at the gym. Here are three tips to get healthy and fit for even the busiest professional. Thirty Minutes To A New You Anytime you can do less work, and still get great results is a deal in my book. A 2012 study published in the American Journal of Physiology found that thirty minutes of daily exercise is just as effective for losing weight as sixty minutes. Get in there, and get it done! If you can read a magazine, text or play on Facebook while exercising, all you’re doing is wasting your precious time. Look for exercise plans that combine interval training, strength training, core exercises and stretching. Don’t forget to mix it up so you’re body doesn’t get used to a particular routine. If you’re strength training, change your routine every two weeks. Like to run? Add in some crosstraining and circuits to see a boost in your running time and performance. The best thing you can do is to be consistent, and emphasize quality over quantity.

Schedule your success

In a perfect world we would have all the time in the day to exercise. Then reality hits and you need to get the kids out the door, and fix yourself so you’re not doing your makeup while driving, once again. Schedule the time to workout. Lay out your clothes the night before. As a matter of fact, sleep in your gym clothes if it will help strike one more excuse why you can’t workout. You don’t need to plan a routine that’s overly complicated, but you also don’t want to “wing it” either. Go for something in-between. Write out short term and long-term goals so you know if you’re progressing or not. Use technology to help keep you on track and in shape. Apps like MyFitnessPal, GymPact, Nexercise and Nike Training Club are just some of the great tools you can use to save time and automate your schedule..

Never neglect nutrition

Here’s the thing, you can never, ever out train a bad diet. Eating well is often the difference between success and failure. Especially if you have one of those super busy days where you absolutely can’t do a quick workout. Think about it, this is the only body you’re going to have, so why not treat it well? Feed it food that will help you power through any boardroom meeting, and especially while you’re catching up on those late night e-mail. A general rule of thumb is to skip the nonfat, low fat, too many ingredients you can’t even pronounce trap. Feed your body real food. Planning and prepping meals for you and your entire family is healthier, will save you money and give you more time to spend on yourself. If you don’t take care of your health, it will eventually catch up to you and you won’t be around to take care of that family you sacrifice so much for. Change your perspective on exercise, and find inspiration and motivation from everything around you. It will help to keep you on track especially when your mind is screaming at you all the reasons why you can’t do this. Matter of fact, stop thinking about all the things you can’t do, and make a true commitment to living a healthier and happier life today. Disclaimer: Always consult with your medical doctor before starting any rigorous workout, especially if you have a preexisting condition. Start off slow and build from there to help avoid burnout and injury.

Source:

Rosenkilde, P. L. Auerbach, M. H. Reichkendler, T. Ploug, B. M. Stallknecht, A. Sjodin. Body fat loss and compensatory mechanisms in response to different doses of aerobic exercise – a randomized controlled trial in overweight sedentary males. AJP: Regulatory, Integrative and Comparative Physiology, 2012

Dr. Helen Troncoso is a Doctor of Physical Therapy, health expert and founder of Reinventing You, LLC where she helps busy people get healthy and fit. For more health and wellness tips, visit her website at: www.helentroncoso.com

Music and Mood: #MusicMonday

By Jes Sofia Valle, MA MFTI

What a great start to my day! Hearing Feeling Good By Nina Simone. I always find that starting my day with what I like to call a “SUPERSONG” makes my day so much better. I am up beat and overall, I feel better. Isn’t it interesting how one song can make your day?

Mood:

Did you know that there is a thing called Music Psychology? Its where various of people who love music and research do what they love, research music and what are the effects on humans. It has been studied that music of one’s liking has been most effective in increasing positive feelings and decreasing negative feelings. Depending on what you like, calling it designer music. The results of studies on results suggest that designer music may be useful in the treatment of tension, mental distraction, and negative moods (McCraty R, Barrios-Choplin B, Atkinson M, Tomasino D., 1998) .

Health:

In Health, the use of music has also been shown that it helps promote a sense of well-being and to distract from pain and other unpleasant symptoms, thoughts, and feelings, while being convenient and readily available(Kemper, K. J. MD, MPH; Danhauer, S. C. PHD, 2005). Music helps to improve mood and decrease anxiety, as well as decrease the pain associated with surgery, medical procedures, and chronic conditions; it also helps ease the dying process(Kemper, K. J., 2005). Music may help premature babies to gain weight more quickly (Kemper, K. J., 2005). Music may enhance care-giving behavior (Kemper, K. J., 2005).

Culture:

I must remind you that music with in itself has it’s own culture. It derives from our own cultures, weather you listen to Samba, Jazz, Rap, R&B, Pop, Soul, Neo-Soul…. It all come from everywhere. Some artist say it comes from the drum… I say it comes from where you come from, where you bought it, where you connect to it. Also, where you allow it to go. Music can take you places…its up to you where you let it take you.

Today, I let it take me to my happy mood…

What song gets you in a good mood?

References:

Kemper, K. J. MD, MPH; Danhauer, S. C. PHD, (March 2005) Music as Therapy Southern Medical Journal (98) 3 282-288

McCraty R, Barrios-Choplin B, Atkinson M, Tomasino D. (1998) The effects of different types of music on mood, tension, and mental clarity. Altern Ther Health Med. 1998 Jan 4(1) 75-84.

I will leave you with this:

Birds flyin’ high you know how I feel

Sun in the sky you know how I feel

Breeze driftin’ on by you know how I feel

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me

yeah, its a new dawn its a new day its a new life for me ooooooooh

AND I’M FEELING GOOD

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel

River runnin’ free you know how I feel

Blossom on the tree you know how I feel

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me

And I’m feelin good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what i mean dont you know

Butterflies all havin’ fun you know what I mean

Sleepin’ peace when day is done that’s what I mean

And this old world is a new world and a bold world for me

Stars when you shine you know how I feel

Scent of the crime you know how I feel

Your freedom is mine, and I know how I feel

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life for me

(Free styling)

OH I’M FEELING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/n/nina+simone/feeling+good_20100629.html

Smile (If you want)

Jes Sofia Valle