Author: bloggersofhealth

How to Help Decrease #Anxiety before a #Surgery: Simple Tips

By Jes Sofia Valle, MA IMFT

Anxiety is a sign, an alert that something is off. Well when you are about to have surgery HECK YEAH there is something wrong! So of course your anxiety will increase! Boy logic I tell ya. Anxiety before having a surgery is wayyyyy normal. If you didn’t have some anxiety well… you would be a machine. And though most of us are well run oiled machines… we are also humans.

So no, you are not bonkers because you have anxiety before surgery. You are having surgery. It is normal.

So here is a list of things you can do to help you decrease your anxiety before you have surgery, I’ll explain why it’s important too. I will also keep it light because you need to laugh about it a little even though surgery is very serious…

  1. Breath…

We go through a lot, and finding out you are having surgery can be shocking. Sometimes we forget to breath because we don’t know “what might happen.” Trust that you will be ok. Breathing allows your muscles to get that oxygen that they need to relax and not be so tense. Also, drinking water is important. (But talk to your doctor about what you need to drink or not drink and by when you should stop drinking anything).

  1. If you feel you have to, Cry.

If you have to release your emotions do so! If you have to vent, warn your friend before you start venting so they can be prepared to help you. Don’t get all mad if they are no prepared, find another friend. Call you psychotherapist and set up a session, heck that’s why you pay them for right? 🙂

  1. Keep it positive!

We are humans, and thinking of the worst is something we tend to do! LIKE: WHOOOOOA what am I going to do?! Where is my car?! Hot or cold?? My house! What are my kids going to eat? I can’t cook (some of ya can’t really cook anyways and are talking about I can’t cook for them! LOL). Keep it simple. Keep it calm.

I can tell you from prior experience, it’s hard to do at first, just remind yourself you are an awesome human.

Keeping it positive helps you keep focused. SO…

  1. Make a list of questions.

Ask your doctor and ASK them! This will help with all the “what ifs” which can increase the anxiety. This way you can ask away, talk to the doctor about all your concerns and be honest and that will help you relieve some stress.

  1. Make To do list.

Make a list of the things you have to do before your surgery. Why? Because you need to get yourself organized and focused on yourself because you ARE important, let alone if you have kids and dogs or cats! It will also keep you busy and you will feel ready. JUST don’t focus on the List TOO much. If you have friends who offer you help, take it.

Here is my to do list as an Example (example):

  1. Tell friends and family (If you don’t tell anyone, they will not know and tell them to bring healthy foods only.)

2.Paperwork needed to be done for work.

3.Tell lead intern to gather and give me date and time for meeting.

  1. Pay Bills for next month
  2. Buy dog food.
  3. Clean house, disinfect   (actually cleaning is a great stress reducer, but if you can’t move don’t do it!)
  4. Tell brother/cousin to help with Buddy (Dog, walk morning/night feed).
  5. Buy healthy meals freeze (since you can’t cook as you will be in bed rest).
  6. Update your will, live will… finance will – be graceful and kind.
  7. Take a shower… and eat healthy!
  8. Relax

Do some yoga. Meditate and hang out with friends. Put your phone down. It’s important you make time for you and your family. Don’t get too involved in new things… keep it simple.

  1. Smile. Laugh. Lunch.

Remember you are getting through it. They are going in you to help “fix” the situation. This is part of your healing process. A friend once told me, you don’t have control of what they do, but you do have control of what happens before and after the surgery. And trust your doctors. Make them some good cupcakes before your surgery and create that positive environment… #justsaying

  1. Watch a funny movie.

I recommend you do NOT watch your surgery that sometimes can give you more anxiety because you will have it in your mind over and over and over… and that is exactly what we are trying to help you work through.

  1. Keep it healthy

If you can, work out, stretch your neck (ask your doctor what you can’t and can do). Talk to you Dietitian and ask what you can and cannot eat. And get ready for your healing process. Take a Brisk walk with your kid, partner, dog or cat.

  1. Have faith, whatever you believe trust that you will be ok. And one last thing… leave me a comment with more intel 😀

Smile (if you want to)

Jes Sofia

#HOPE

Sometimes you may feel hopeless. But know that there is always HOPE and something you can find to make Life worth living, It takes a little bit of talk through sometimes, and sometimes its right in front of you. Trust that there is always HOPE in front of you.

If your friend or family or someone calls you and they want to suicide, call 911.

If you are about to suicide or hurt yourself: call 911

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273- TALK (8255)

We ask #WHY, when we should ask #HOW.

Food for thought:

There are many reasons and ways to answer why. Sometimes Why is never really answered and that can be frustrating and then some. Sometimes we ask WHY when the reality is that we should be asking HOW.

We ask WHY God, why people, why life, why Buddy, why you, why me, why this, why that… why why-why… why. You can clearly see WHY asking WHY can be not so helpful (at times). You see asking this word of three letters gets us sitting. INSTEAD of taking ACTION.

So asking HOW the next time you want to ask why.

How is this possible?
How do I get there?
How can I get through this?
How can I get through to them?
How me? (well you would have to ask HOW do I as oppose to WHY me right? )
HOW

This will take you to WHAT (you many need) and WHERE (to do, go) and even WHEN. Go figure.

Part of life is TAKING action for your own life. MAKING sure that you are able to do what you need to. Knowing WHERE to go to make things happen for you, even WHEN.

Try it out, let us HOW that works for you.

Opinions accepted. 🙂

Smile (if you want)

Jes Sofia Valle

Where to begin: The process of #PositiveThinking.

In life,… OoooChild! In life we go through sooooo much. ONE thing I can tell you on this Post is that the way you choose to think after something happens, its what you make of it. You can make a hard situation harder, or you can acknowledged that something good may come out of that situation.

Here are Five simple steps to help you begin your positive Journey:

1. OBSERVE the positive: 

Take a moment and ask yourself what are the people, things, behaviors and words that people say that are positive, and leave it at that (for now). Don’t go all worry wards and begin to think of the negative. Keep it at the positive. If you are a people watcher, don’t be jelly or caddy… really acknowledged and observe what makes people, your surrounding, the people around you positive.

Avoid saying, for Example: I love that about you, BUT i …. or I think thats awesome BUT… see what happens is that BUT negates everything you said before that was positive. Keep it simple. I like that. I love your sense of style. I like how you cook.  NOT,I like how you cook BUT you could have added more salt. You know what people are saying to themselves when you say that? Here it goes… They are saying… “well darn it! you cook and how about you put your own damn salt!” You know most are. However, if you just say I liked your cooking. They will think “Oh she/he appreciates my co” AND do it genuinely. Because people can tell when you are faking it. (yes and this is just step one).

Summary of one: Keep it simple (unlike what I just did…LOL) I like….I think (insert positive).

2. Positive Writing

Take a journal and every morning or evening or lunch time… take 10-20 minutes to write down what you observed that was positive. What you witnessed that was positive. If you have children, write down the positives, if you have a spouse, write down hers/his positives down. Write down your positives. Again, let go of the worry or the “buts” and the “what ifs” and focus ONLY on the positives. It takes practice, you nor am I perfect… but you can do this.

Mental note helps. More so, by actually writing it, you are allowing your body to become synced with your positive thoughts. You are now feeling the positive. You are feeling the pen or pencil that is in fact putting out what you are thinking and making it more concrete. More real, it is no longer just a thought. It’s on paper.

*For families here is an idea: Take a paper lunch bag, have everyone design it in a family setting and everyday place a POSITIVE note (ONLY) in your family’s lunch bag. At the end of the day or week, read what awesome things your family members have thought about you.

3. Talk the Positive you observed and wrote.  

Positive Self-Statements

First and up most, learn to give yourself a positive kudo. SOMETIMES…MOST TIMES if you are not saying, thinking, feeling positives about yourself, then you probably are not saying positives about others. Just saying… its known to be a behavioral pattern.

So begin with Positive self-statements.  I like what I’m wearing, I like that I can laugh, I like that I’m learning to be a positive person… Use “I” statements, And throw in some (a lot of)  Love… I love that I am a good woman/man. I love that I am alive, I love that I can cook, clean, do an awesome job (insert your job/work duties here) and I love that I can say I love! 🙂

4. Continue to talk positives. 

Positive Statements 

Now, steps three and four are usually interchanged. Why? because (based on providing therapeutic experience)  most people who don’t think positive can talk about other’s positives first before talking about themselves or admitting their awesome-ness to their selves. And that is awesome. AS LONG as you work on your self too! I mean how can you tell someone their are awesome, and not see yourself for being awesome. That saying, “It takes one to know one?” well… it takes an awesome person to acknowledge an awesome person. Its in you.

Tell being what you see that’s awesome about them or something they like. I tend to be random because it makes people smile. I usually say “I think that dress, tie, looks good on you. Your rocking’ it!” Of course if i thinking it too. I have to be honest, most women tend to be able to give other women props for looking good. And it may be seen different with men. But hey! if your single ready to mingle, stroke that ego! stroke that ego!!! LOL

and Lastly

5. Believe in the positive. 

Have conversations in a positive format. 

Sometimes we lose practice of observing, recognizing, acknowledging, admitting, stating, reporting, living ours and other’s positivity that we become brittle folks. Don’t become a Brittle folk! Enjoy life. I mean your breathing for goodness sakes! Make sure you take advantage of that. Live, believe it and show it! I mean I’m Thirty *cough cough* something and I can’t believe I’m already in my thirties. now imagine you, you are either younger or more Mature (yeah you know you liked that!) than me, so make it good. Make it happen! Make is positive! Make it you! Make it life.

and

Smile (if you want to)

Jes Sofia Valle 

Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

By Renata Klabacha, MA, LMFT

September is known to most people as end of summer and back to school time. A few years ago it took on a new meaning; Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. My best friend’s daughter Carolina was diagnosed with leukemia. It was devastating and frightening for my friend and her family. However, Carolina’s treatments have been going very well and everyone is hopeful that it will continue. No small feat for a seven year old, but she’s a sassy, strong warrior. Check out her Facebook page, Carolina’s Cause.
As a mental health professional, I understand that any major health diagnosis can wreak havoc on a family. It is common to cause misbehaviors, drop in grades, conflicts with others, and even depression. Not just in the patient, but siblings as well. Parents may have more arguments due to all the stressors and self-care is extremely important. It is crucial for parents to maintain structure and discipline. This will be very tough, because as parents, during a child’s illness we want to be comforting, not authoritative. However, being that solid rock is exactly what a child needs at this time. It’s critical for the child (and siblings) to understand that rules still apply and that their illness doesn’t give them a pass on good behaviors. That being said, parents will need to learn the new balancing act of assessing misbehaviors, determining what can be ignored or what might be a side-effect and thus, what needs to be addressed. It’s necessary during this time to reach out to support systems and community resources. Mental health counseling with a medical social worker can assist the patient and family in navigating any heartbreaking diagnosis and aid families in creating a new “normal level” of family functioning. The adjustment time for every family will be different, but it can also strengthen the family bond and build resiliency. The social workers or counselors can connect families to support groups, camps, counseling, advocate with insurance plans and psycho-educate about federal or state benefit laws.
So as September comes to an end, please join the event “Turn Facebook Orange and Gold For the Month of September!!!” in order to bring awareness to Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. To learn more about childhood cancer, please visit Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. They are making tremendous strides in treating children’s cancer through research and community outreach.
http://www.chop.edu/service/oncology/childhood-cancer-awareness/childhood-cancer-awareness-infographic.html#.Uh6Anicjcwo.facebook          
Renata Klabacha, MA, LMFT

Child and Family Therapist, Chicago IL.

Emotionally Ready for School

By Renata Klabacha, LMFT

Whether it’s first day of preschool or first semester of college, children experience a wide range of emotions about returning to school; anxiety, excitement, hope and fear. It’s important to have a conversation to normalize and validate all their feelings.
Many kids are excited and look forward to seeing friends that they haven’t seen during the summer. They get to catch up and share summer adventures. Some children might be nervous to make new friends after a move while others worry that old friends won’t like them anymore. Parents can assure children that many kids feel the same and review how to make or keep friends. The Golden Rule applies to all ages; be kind, friendly, respectful and most of all be themselves. Have your child identify qualities that they possess that others appreciate and enjoy. As your child recognizes these characteristics their self-confidence and self-worth with grow, melting away any fears.
Children also worry about their academic performance. Again validate and normalize their fears. Remind your child that the school’s job is to challenge them and build on their previous knowledge. Explain to your child, that you expect them to have some struggles. This is normal and learning something new can be very difficult. Have your child identify times that they have struggles with an activity and how it got easier as they keep trying. Children with learning disabilities can be very sensitive to any criticism. Inform the teacher of the child’s learning struggles early on and maintain in contact throughout the school year to assure your child is getting the attention he or she needs. With your child, create a list of people who can help and encourage your child to ask for help often. Praise them when they do ask for help. Remind children that they are not competing with other students, they are completing with themselves.
Unfortunately children who have been bullied fear and hate going back to school. Empower your child by role-playing ways to use their voice and stand up to bullies. If your child struggles to protect themselves, reach out to teachers, school staff, and administration for assistance. Outside of school, enroll your child in an activity that makes them feel strong and confident. Any type of martial arts can make a huge difference. It helps a child learn how to physically defend themselves. Rarely, do children use their new martial arts skills to hurt others, since it is not a part of the philosophy. This allows them to better access the situation with the bully, know when to walk away, and brush off any insults; which will make them a less desirable target for bullies. Have your child pass it on, by aiding friends or other students who are also being bullied.
Lastly, find school programs or sports that match your child’s interests. It will build a connection to the school while providing support for parents and student. Assuring that the child will be involved in positive activities.

Hispanic Scholarship Fund


I recently went to an event for the HSF. It was a beautiful event. At the JW Marriott and It presented ten scholarships. It made me happy to see the smile on the student’s faces when they where acknowledged for their hard work.

“HSF scholarship award amounts range from $1,000-$15,000. The average award amount is $2,500 for students attending four-year institutions and $1,250 for students attending two-year institutions.”

This year’s Corporate Sponsors where Wells Fargo and Target.

The awards that the students won at the event are in addition to scholarships that they have already received. Karen Villegas, the Female Scholar of the Year winner for a Gates Millennium Scholar and has received a good through graduation scholarship. 

HSF award on average 3,000 students per year for a total of 60,000 and $430 million since 1975. 

You can Donate Today: https://my.hsf.net/en/donations/donate#/donate

See more at: http://hsf.net/en/resources/faqs/general-questions/#sthash.WhwrVods.dpuf

Ford Ecoboost Challenge

Last week I had the opportunity to take the Ford Coast-to-Coast Ecoboost Challenge at Santa Anita Park in the LA area and let me tell you, it was pretty great!

fordedochalange2

I arrived at around 9:30am to the designated location which was already set and ready to go with the lineup of Ford’s newest cars and a series of courses made up of orange cones to begin the endeavor of test driving in the beautiful California weather.

Among the cars that I had the chance to drive were the Ford Fusion, Ford Escape (which I’ve had the opportunity to drive in the past and is probably my favorite!), and the Ford F-150. I’m going to be honest for a second and tell you that I am not a car expert but Ford personnel made it a point to address any questions and concerns I had in terms that I could understand so Ford definitely gets some major cool points from me. Getting behind the wheel of Ford’s newest models and testing out their potential in their custom tracks definitely has me considering the purchase of one when the time comes.

ford2

The real winning activity, however, was the Ford Hybrid Challenge. I have never driven a hybrid before but had general knowledge of how these innovative cars are great for the environment (kudos Ford for going green!). I was definitely intrigued and I could not leave the event without getting behind the wheel of the Ford C-Max! I was also relieved to have a Ford employee in the passenger seat in this custom course, which definitely calmed my nerves. The C-Max feels great when you’re behind the wheel, by the way. There is a sense of control when you’re driving and had I not been told that I’d be driving a hybrid, I would not have known the difference between this car and a traditional gas car.

fordedochalange

All in all I had a blast taking Ford’s Ecoboost Challenge. What interests me the most about  Ford’s new models are their promise of fuel efficiency, which at this point and time is a win for everyone in California!

TLFoundation Orphanage Project

TLFoundation Orphanage Project By Jes Sofia Valle 
In Social Impact Located In Los Angeles, CA

 PEOPLE HELP PEOPLE in Guatemala. This September 2014 we hope to provide orphanages with Education and Mental Health, along with providing basic needs such as Milk, Diapers & other necessities. We are going to Guatemala!! Help us out! or Join us!! I’m Jes, with one S, like Yes in Spanish. I ‘m a child Therapist and Child Advocate. I’m looking to be able to help orphans and their homes. I will tell you how this all started.

 WHILE ON MY TRIP TO GUATEMALA, I had the urge to help someone other than myself. I felt that I should be doing more than just spa-hopping, so with just one day left on my rental car. I put my mind to what wanted to accomplish. Really, it was instinctual – I wanted to give to kids. Anyone that knows me already can vouch for how much I love helping kids, so I went to a few bigwig companies to ask for help. After a few weeks of waiting some companies said no, but others said yes. I sat down in one of two Starbucks locations in Guatemala, and talked to my friend on Skype. When I was done with my conversation, a man approached me and in English (mind you, was conversing in English on Skype, in a part of the world where all you hear is Spanish), and he said, “I was eavesdropping and overheard you wanted to help an orphanage.” I said, “Yes!” and he introduced himself as Mike and said he was a director of a team in Guatemala who works with local orphanages — talk about heaven sent! “We provide food for them,” Mike shared, and from I immediately was completely amazed and inspired by the get-go. He told me about his organization, Orphaned Resources International, and through the conversation, I was able to link him to various sources of mine. And I told him I was interested in helping an orphanage dedicated to babies and toddlers and he gave me three choices to choose from.

I ultimately chose Hogar de Ninos, Amor de Patricia. I ran to a store, which had already agreed to help in my quest, and a representative from Huggies also happened to be there, too. I asked them for diapers, and was able to fill my car with Huggies, milk, baby formula, toys and bottles. They gave me so much for the kiddos, in addition to what I purchased myself that I ended up with so much more than what I expected to end up with. After about an hour drive, When I went inside, my heart was filled with so much emotion; I wanted to adopt all of them! I wanted to take them home and work my butt off to give them a life outside those orphanage walls. But I knew that I could not give them all the lives they deserve all by myself, which is why I’m asking YOU and brands to help Guatemalan orphanages with a donation to help the orphanage hire teachers and a psychologist. we will provide basic needs such as Milk for the babies and kids, diapers, and clothes. This time I cannot buy all the things I would like to give them, and I would also like to help more than one orphanage.

So can you help me?

 Ways You Can Help: 

Donate to buy: Milk, Diapers, Clothes, and Toys
 Donate airfare to help us give.
 Donate to Hire Teacher and Psychologist ($600 Monthly)

PLEASE help SHARE this through Social Media! FACEBOOK/TWITTER/INSTAGRAM/ ANY SOCIAL MEDIA OUTLETS! Trust us, it helps!

 Thank you! Jes and Team

 http://bit.ly/1okGcFf