I am not a Burden; I am not my pain.
You see, I was told, yet again what I’ve been told too many times…That eventually I will need a hip replacement at some point of my life. Imagine, being 29 and told that at some point in your life you will have to go through what you went through at age 11. That after an incident, your hip flair ups became apparent more because of this incident, and because like with any major incident your body just goes through the motions too… Blabbing now.
Oh did I mention that I had to tell a VERY close friend that I was not able to be the guardian of their kid? Ummm yeah.
So what did I do first? I sulked. Went through a weird “the call me yellow mellow” moment. Where I just wanted to sleep. But the tricky part was that I had to finish a final. Create a Power point presentation and smile through it. Write a letter for my foundation and send a grip load of e-mails. I was able to then make it through the week…keeping distracted.
Yesterday I broke down. After being done with all my work. I wrote the longest BBM (blackberry messenger) messages to my boyfriend of how I felt like a burden. A topic I come pass once or twice a year when I get weird and uncomfortable, awkward, mierda, strange, malo. LOL. So I was not my regular me…happy, caffeinated, hyper, on the go, happy go lucky, cheerful, you get it, was not there.
I have to thank my friends who allowed me to be at their home, have fun, and have company. For a far away boyfriend that words calmed me down. For my mom for coming over and bringing me soup. My best friends listening to me while I had my mid-low moment in life. For me, and for God. Because I’m alive… I can handle things. Because I have the will to choose to smile no matter what I go through. And Because no matter what happened, I know that everything comes back to homeostasis.
So next time you are thrown those curve balls, find it in your friends, faith and you’re self to make it through it and the best of it. Remember that everything happens for a reason. That people will love you no matter your physical pain. Moreover, that Life is meant to live! So enjoy it.
Smile (If you want)