Tag: support

Sexual Abuse: The Fear Was Real

Sexual Abuse: The Fear Was Real

I was about 7-8 Years Old. And I was introduced to a male part. I didn’t love him. I didn’t know him. I didn’t know what was being done to me. But I knew he hurt me. He was a distant relative. My mouth was shut every time he hurt me. He told me I would loose my family if I said anything. I would fear every time and I wanted to tell someone. I told my teacher that I was still sad about my aunts death 5 years later when I cried uncontrollably in class. She gave me a bunny to help me through the pain. Then I dislocated my hip. This was my blessing. He did not touch me after that. He got married then he went to jail.

I never said anything until I told my therapist and they helped me tell my parents. I was 28 years old. My parents provided love and understanding. My parents never knew and they where in disbelief, yet believed all I said. They where there in more ways than one. At our kitchen table one night… When I told them my aweful experience. I felt free to have completed my own Trauma Focus Narrative with my parents. They read it. And we hugged. I reminded them that it wasn’t their fault and they asked questions. My father was filled with anger and my mother cried. Not at me, for me. It was ok to tell my story while he was still alive. I felt free, empowered, filled with freedom and my family was still ok, alive and well. I told my best friends. They where supportive and many didn’t know what to say. But I knew that they were my sisters and they wouldn’t leave me because of it.

I want you to know that you will always have someone that cares. That even if they are not your family, someone will be there for you. I struggle through a lot of fear because of someone else’s choice upon me.

I decided to take control of me, the only person I can control and I made someone out of me. I’ve worked through a lot of pain in my life time, both emotional and physical. And I want you to know that your not alone in this.

If you need someone to listen or help you through the moments where you feel you won’t make it… Call for help.

National Help Line:
Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit the online treatment locators.

You too can overcome sexual abuse, excel in life with love, compassion and style. I learned that I’m not broken. In deed, I learned that I’m fabulous and don’t I know it!

 

Kindly,

JesSofia Valle
Founder of Bloggers of Health.

Age 33

Emotionally Ready for School

By Renata Klabacha, LMFT

Whether it’s first day of preschool or first semester of college, children experience a wide range of emotions about returning to school; anxiety, excitement, hope and fear. It’s important to have a conversation to normalize and validate all their feelings.
Many kids are excited and look forward to seeing friends that they haven’t seen during the summer. They get to catch up and share summer adventures. Some children might be nervous to make new friends after a move while others worry that old friends won’t like them anymore. Parents can assure children that many kids feel the same and review how to make or keep friends. The Golden Rule applies to all ages; be kind, friendly, respectful and most of all be themselves. Have your child identify qualities that they possess that others appreciate and enjoy. As your child recognizes these characteristics their self-confidence and self-worth with grow, melting away any fears.
Children also worry about their academic performance. Again validate and normalize their fears. Remind your child that the school’s job is to challenge them and build on their previous knowledge. Explain to your child, that you expect them to have some struggles. This is normal and learning something new can be very difficult. Have your child identify times that they have struggles with an activity and how it got easier as they keep trying. Children with learning disabilities can be very sensitive to any criticism. Inform the teacher of the child’s learning struggles early on and maintain in contact throughout the school year to assure your child is getting the attention he or she needs. With your child, create a list of people who can help and encourage your child to ask for help often. Praise them when they do ask for help. Remind children that they are not competing with other students, they are completing with themselves.
Unfortunately children who have been bullied fear and hate going back to school. Empower your child by role-playing ways to use their voice and stand up to bullies. If your child struggles to protect themselves, reach out to teachers, school staff, and administration for assistance. Outside of school, enroll your child in an activity that makes them feel strong and confident. Any type of martial arts can make a huge difference. It helps a child learn how to physically defend themselves. Rarely, do children use their new martial arts skills to hurt others, since it is not a part of the philosophy. This allows them to better access the situation with the bully, know when to walk away, and brush off any insults; which will make them a less desirable target for bullies. Have your child pass it on, by aiding friends or other students who are also being bullied.
Lastly, find school programs or sports that match your child’s interests. It will build a connection to the school while providing support for parents and student. Assuring that the child will be involved in positive activities.