Change

Hi! šŸ¦æ

I’ve been working on many things… more in particular in losing weight because steroids, although helped me to reduce pain for many years, they did not help me with my weight.

Recently I had a HORRIBLE Arthritic Flare up! I wasn’t able to move my knees or my elbows, shoulders, wrist… name the joint and it was stuck! It’s been painful. Talk about being a Cyborg… yes, I feel i’m past being bionic…LOL And I’m still struggling with my knee and shoulder pain. Anywho… whaaa whaaa whaaa šŸ˜­. I am doing moving now… and continue to walk and work. šŸ˜Š Thank Goodness! Have to keep at it! šŸ˜€

Well, life is painful sometimes šŸ¤·šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø and right now there are a LOT of changes. However, I want to remind you that continuing to focus on your health is most important. And it’s the time to focus on your needs… maybe buy a house (if you can) buy land, get into bitcoin… all the stuff that wealthy people are doing but in a lower scale if you are not well off.

Change is hard… BUT survivable (is that a word? LOLšŸ¤¦šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø šŸ¤£)

I continue to work on things that my mind wants to create and do. Projects are always fun. Also, continue to love and enjoy helping people and their own lives in my real job…

Anyways (yes I am from Last Century)… I hope you continue to be empowered to do what you need to to stay 1. Alive, 2. Health, 3. Fed, 4. Loved, 5. Stable, 6. Calm and Strong and …7. Alive again…

Smile (if you want),

Jes šŸ˜Š

Spine Forever

(Possible Health triggers be warned)

How this all began, a reminder:

How did this blog begin?

You know in 2007 I was not able to walk. For 6 months, I was bedridden. I
couldn’t really feel my legs. I was online and I couldn’t find people to talk
to about my spine, so I did research instead. I met with many bloggers, which
after recouping took me to an adventure in life it was filled with so much
stance and resilience which all started from laying around, being bored in bed.

Two doctors had said I had to go through the process for me to be able to
get the treatment I needed…. And Iā€™ve writing my story several times in book
before, it always brings me joy that my hardships have helped so many, it’s
been a blessing instead.

I wrote this for a book once:

"Iā€™m Bionic. Iā€™m Hypermobile. I have Anemia. I have Arthritis. I get
Hypoglycemic, and I get sad sometimes because of the flair up pain. But let me
tell you a little more about me, let me tell you about why Iā€™m not defined by
my sicknesses or pain.

Iā€™m a successful psychotherapist and non-profit entrepreneur.  Iā€™ve
learned to make time to live life and enjoy it. I love to travel and have
learned that my life is only a vessel to create things and help people. There
are many reasons why Iā€™ve gone through what Iā€™ve gone through.

Last year, (2018), I almost died because my iron and blood levels dropped dangerously
low. I was getting dizzy and irritable all the time and didnā€™t know why I had
to fight this battle. But I remembered there are many reasons why Iā€™ve gone
through what Iā€™ve gone through.

Before my near-death experience last year, I was driving on the freeway when
suddenly two cars slammed on their breaks, causing me to swerve to not hit
them, only to lose control of my own car. I spun around the freeway three
times, smacked into a pole, and literally almost took a nosedive off of the
freeway. There are many reasons why Iā€™ve gone to what Iā€™ve gone through.

When I woke up from the shock in the ambulance and realized the EMTs were
going to take me to a different hospital than the one I worked at, I said,
ā€œreally? You see my badgeā€¦ take me there!ā€ referring to my own place of
employment, my own hospital. When my coworkers saw me, they said, ā€œYou are
supposed to be helping patients, not be one!ā€ There are many reasons why Iā€™ve
gone through what Iā€™ve gone through.

Before this, at age 24 I started to lose the feelings in my legs, and so I
had my then boyfriend carry me into his car to take me to the hospital. I had
officially lost the ability to move my legs. Soon thereafter, I had officially
lost the ability to walk. There are many reasons why Iā€™ve gone through what
Iā€™ve gone through.

At age 11 I suffered a dislocated hip.  As a consequence, Iā€™ve had to
have many surgeries that have made me like a walking, talking cyborg. There are
many reasons why Iā€™ve gone through what Iā€™ve gone through.

And here are the reasons. You can look to my story and my crazy issues and
realize that you can still smile, laugh, and live life like me despite any pain
you or your loved ones are experiencing or will ever experience. You can look
to my story and realize you have the strength to go on too. You can look to my
story and realize you donā€™t have to take your life or your health for granted.
You can look to my life – all of my battle scars – and realize that life
happens and that negative situations help us learn and level up. And you can
look to my story and learn to trust God if you never had, as he will literally
always have my back and yours. There are many reasons why Iā€™ve gone through
what Iā€™ve gone through and why youā€™re going through what youā€™re going through.
These reasons help us to become the amazing, strong, and bionic human beings we
were designed to be."

Years later, I had cancer cells in my tummy, God infusions for treatments,
and beginning breast cancer crazy tumors that they found due to my Spine MRIs
that were taken away. And I still Thank God for my ability to walk every day.

I’ve learned to thrive through this all. I have support. Friends that love
me, and places to be. I am a stickler of rest, recover and restore. I still
have flare ups, but not like before. Ice is still my best friend and I do more
things from home. I love to explore life, and I love to live it well. I’m
always looking for some fun, and Iā€™m always making time for family and friends.
Sometimes my legs get tired, my should grows weary, and my emotions heightened
instead. Nevertheless, my faith in my Body always pushes me instead.

I hope after your read this post you leave all pity to the side and give
thanks for my life instead. For I’m a blessed woman, with lots of life, and
trying to help many others instead.

Make it a thankful day.

Kindly, Jes

Smile (if you want to, Smile instead). šŸ™‚

 

Being…

Authentically you (be warned this is a post you read after coffee).

I usually find it easy to be myself. Until I get sick or trapped in my own self.

Have you ever felt this? Where you are on a roll, and then life happens. Simple allergies that feel like that are overtaking your body like a…(ready a long run-on sentence because my grammar is Bitbantersexy…lol) norovisrus covid PTSD moment coughing frenzy comes and you are now left in bed talking to your friends instead of being with them but you already had plans to go visit some awesome nature park but can’t because your coughing off a storm and its windy and who knows when your body will recover. Yes, this happens to many of us in spring, all because they want to grow, little beautiful flowers. The pollen is in full bloom and then… bam! Achoo! 

And the first question that comes out of peopleā€™s mind is, she is sick Have COVID? You would think that a few years after such pandemic, we have been able to reduce that question. However, it’s the first questions that comes to our mind. It makes me wonder how people during the depression felt and how long they take those lessons of life with them throughout life. And how drastic those thoughts are to whom the depression did not affect them (The Psychology of Money, gave me that thought). It’s what takes being…to a whole new level. Mind you, we take being to our own level, we raise our own bars (enter a friend telling me “Get a bar.”). We elevate who we are with, who we are talking to, and who we allow to be in our lives. And we allow them to bring us up too (If we let them). So when it comes to being authentic, and then get sick and feel trapped, we must muster through the fields of whatever our minds are going through and unstrap ourselves by allow a little virus we got from a kid who was probably sick and left the virus germ on a door knob that your opened to go an help someone else as your finish your round up (this I statement I started using recently ‘:-) Round up). 

Being Sick 

It’s funny how our body attack can change our thinking. Weather (storm lol) it be because of how we just feel like MEEEEEHHHH or because we place this idea in our mind that we are trapped and HAVE to stay in bed to recuperate and let this body that has gone through so many wars already go through something like so again. But is it really a war? (Just saying, itā€™s a cough that made you have bronchio spams… altering your voice so that you have sexy voice…I mean lol). 

But regardless of being any type of sick or having a chronic illness, being you at that moment and time is because of something, or it may even help someone else. 

Being Authentically You

I’ve learned this the hard way, that being you, with whom you are with will allow anything to happen. I met up with an old friend and I warned her I was not my best, yet even sick, I had the most incredible talk about something and everything. She understood me, in different ways because we just understand each other. The right people come to us when we least expect it. I just spoke to someone today, and he provided the sense of love, calm, and peace I needed to get through a bronchio-spasm asthmatic moment comes in and laughter comes in. I mean it gets better when you allow people whom your instincts tell you are worth being in your life. When you can be yourself with someone and they just smile, laugh, or don’t try to change you…and allow you to be…you. These moments are called elevating human energy. And this is something I’m defiantly interested in.Ā 

When you allow people and you come with who you are at that moment. And you allow yourself to be you… so much can happen. Yes, even if you are feeling trapped in your body and feeling sick. Giving positive energy is reciprocated with the people that are meant to be in your life and vice versa. And like with everything, always know your boundaries. You don’t want to get overused either. Everything with good measure. 

I’m out to get some rest and sleep to have more of that energy stuff and help humans get to where they want to get to, Healthy too. Make it a great (enter when you are reading this)! (If you want). -Jes 

Being Kind

For many, the act of kindness is everyday. For others, itā€™s been a difficult time to learn how to be kind. Neither is right or wrong. The fact that you are trying says a lot about your wanted ability. Like with everything, for some it takes lots of practice, and in practicing you end up learning more about yourself. Now, learning some hard stuff about yourself isnā€™t always a positive, so I recommend that if you are not use to doing this, to go to a therapist to help you process learning how to be kind. It can be tough and again, that is normal.

Learn to be kind to yourself First

So how are you kind to yourself first?

When you feel something is off, trust your instincts.

When life gives you options, do what you feel will make you feel happiest with not regrets (ie donā€™t choose drugs over a good run to bring your adrenaline up)

When upset at yourself, give your self grace because you are either about to learn a lesson, or you just finished learning a lesson. Ask yourself what did I learn from this so I wonā€™t go through it again.

When you have to make a hard choice, be happy that you have choices to make.

What if you have a done something horrible?
call a therapist and talk it through. Life is to short to not work it out with yourself and someone that is trained to understand.
when you have doubtsā€¦ write them down.
come back to them and revisit when youā€™ve given yourself a day or two to think it through.

If this is stressful? Make a cake , do some yoga and deep breathing šŸ˜®ā€šŸ’Ø know that all will be well and youā€™ve got this! Be kind to you. Once you begin to be kind to you all starts to fall into place.

Once youā€™ve practiced to be kind to you, then you will know and have grace to be kind to others.

Ten ways to know that you have a Doctor who cares.

There are a lot of doctors in this world. Not all doctors treat the same. Some are wham bam thank you ma’am! and others take thier time to listen. For some, the first approach is perfect for them. There are a lot of people that just like to know what the doctor thinks and leaves. Just like there are others who need the hug and care. Not everyone is build the same when it comes how we receive care… everyone has a different personality. And today i’m writing on the basics of caring is…along with giving you ten ways to know how to receive and look for care!

First of all, what is caring, and how is it seen? That in its self is like beauty… in the eye of the beholder to be honest. According to the Oxford Dictionary, Care can be seen as a noun or a verb.

“Noun:

The provision of what is necessary for the health, welfare, maintenance, and protection of someone or something.

ā€˜the care of the elderlyā€™

ā€˜the child is safe in the care of her grandparentsā€™

ā€˜health careā€™

Serious attention or consideration applied to doing something correctly or to avoid damage or risk.

ā€˜he planned his departure with great careā€™

An object of concern or attention.

ā€˜the cares of family lifeā€™

A feeling of or occasion for anxiety.

ā€˜she was driving along without a care in the worldā€™

Verb:

(often with negative) Feel concern or interest; attach importance to something.

ā€˜they don’t care about human lifeā€™

with clause ā€˜I don’t care what she saysā€™

Feel affection or liking.

ā€˜you care very deeply for himā€™

Care for something/care to do something Like or be willing to do or have something.

ā€˜would you care for some tea?ā€™

ā€˜I don’t care to listen to himā€™

Care for Look after and provide for the needs of.

ā€˜he has numerous animals to care forā€™ ” (Oxford Dictionaries)

….. *Fingers breathe!* that is a whole lotta caring! lol

Back to the Tens…

So see… caring on its own is a lot. I want you to think about yourself because looking for a doctor that fits you is very important. What do you think Care is…That is also what is important to realize too. And how do you obtain it?

Here are some says to help you choose and help you think through:

  1. Do You feel safe with your doctor to tell them the truth enough for them to care? It is important to be able to honest with your doctor on how you are feeling. It is one of many most important ways they are able to help you. May it be your internists, chiropractor, psychologist… people in the health field are there to help and serve you to become the best you can be!
  2. Does your doctor ask questions? If your doctor is not asking questions (especially in the beginning), I would think twice about that Doctor. Because Doctors NEED to ask questions (even though some of the questions may sound weird). How else to they know whats up with you? I mean I get someone telling the doctor everything..but a few questions are necessary still (so my doctor friends tell me).
  3. Are you in the right specialist? does your doctor

Online Dating

Love or fuxe!

So I just got back from my friends wedding! They met online and this is officially the 5th couple Iā€™ve had in my life that has gone through the motion of being in love with another human.

so I decided to jump into the poolā€¦ apparently the first fish that tried to catch me was a sardineā€¦ you know not everyone likes sardines. Especially when they are fishyā€¦

and all I can tell you is make sure that you stay on the app until you feel better, have gotten to know them.. and make sure that you give your place in how you are treated. Thank Goodness I followed my instincts!! Because! People will be people and act like fishies!

but enough about that! Here are some tips for online dating!

  1. Follow your instincts.
  2. Read the safety manual on all sites. Every site will tell you and give you hints in what not to do and how not to get enveloped in a hardshipā€¦ I mean relationships. šŸ˜œ
  3. Verify yourself. and talk to people who are also verified.
  4. Ask for what you do allow and set limits on what you donā€™t allow in your life.
    if you like short people then talk to short people. If you like giant people because tbey can make you feel safeā€¦. Then Date gigantor!
  5. and Be yourself. The more you are you, the more you practice on being the real you with everyone.
  6. Have fun and attract people filled with joy! Because you are worth it!
  7. Go to sleep! Maintain your healthy habits! People who really want to talk to you will do so and respect your time.
  8. Donā€™t wait too long to long to go on a date.
  9. Do not give people money! If they ask- it could be a person trying to steal stuff. Itā€™s like rule number one but I didnā€™t want to scare you until nowā€¦ I mean well not at allā€¦ just caution you if being too nice to people sad stories.
  10. and last but not least- please post current pictures! Ainā€™t no one trying to date you from ten years ago! We want to see the black and white hair ya! Show them Chomps! And be happy!

Make it fun to explore,

Enjoy the process!
-Jes

and yes Iā€™m still single ya! Smh šŸ¤¦šŸ½ā€ā™€ļø me! Lol

Finding a Good Therapist For Your Child

To look for a child therapist can be nerve-wracking. Try not to let this deter you from getting the treatment your child needs. There are ways to find a therapist that is a good fit for your child and yourself.

Practical ways to find a good therapist for your child and you:

  • Talk with your friends and family to see if they have any recommendations of therapists they have found helpful for their children and families.
  • Check with your insurance provider for a list of therapist and begin calling those on the list
  • Ask your primary care physician or pediatrician for a recommendation.
  • Search the internet for local providers.
  • Verify that the therapist has a clean record through the state licensing department such as the Board of Behavioral Sciences in California (https://www.breeze.ca.gov/datamart/selSearchTypeCADCA.do?from=loginPage)

Questions to ask a potential therapist:

  1. Do they have experience working with the age group of your child?
  2. What is their theoretical framework? Have them explain how they feel it can help your child. Have them explain the pros and cons of their treatment
  3. Do they appear comfortable and okay with your questions? If they seem defensive or judgmental then they likely are not a good fit.
    1. Donā€™t feel offended if they donā€™t want to answer personal questions, they are trained to make it all about you, not them.
  4. Are they open to including you in part of the treatment; family sessions, parenting collateral?
  5. Are they doing a complete assessment; asking about family history, current family composition, academic, and social functioning? These are all important in developing a sound diagnosis and treatment planning.
  6. Are they letting you know what the treatment is and obtaining your input, seeing if you have any concerns, and inquiring of your ideas of the possible problems and what the outcome is that you would like?
  7. Are they able to develop a good relationship with your child and you?

Know your rights!

  1. If you do not feel a therapist is a good fit, you have the right to request a different one!

For more information on finding a good therapist, check these additional resources

http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/treatment/choosing-therapist-your-child

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/nurturing-resilience/201011/finding-great-therapist-your-child

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/daniela-tempesta-lcsw/how-to-pick-a-therapist_b_4571857.html

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/01/26/10-ways-to-find-a-good-therapist/

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist

Phototastic-1_26_2016_4b9fbaee-a904-449c-a887-58a8102f8fde (2)

Michelle Natale LMFT

Michelle is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been working with youth and families for over 17 years.

Michelle graduated from Chapman University with her Masters in Psychology; emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy.

Michelle earned her bachelorā€™s degree in Psychology from California State University at Northridge.

Why a Pet?

Most people have a pet. Whether it be a Dog, cat, birth, iguana… you name it. We have them. And they make us happy, frustrated, annoyed, excited… they make us feel. They come with responsibility and remind us to be accountable for ourselves.

At least that’s what I’ve learned with having Max from his 4th day of life. I actually took Max to the doctor early on to the vet because he came from a scary mom that was doing her nature thing in eating her babies for some reason or another. So the neighbor rescued whoever he could, and I could only save one of the two because I wasn’t that kind of doctor! Back to taking him to the doctor, he said he was too little and would not survive the slash on his head and eyelid made by his biological mother. Welp, I used the the skills I learned at UCLA rotations in high school, and did butterfly stitches to close his wounds and did lots of research on how to feed him. I also called brewery farms to find out why he wasn’t pooping, and they told me how to do enemas on one week old puppies. I didn’t sleep for many days because I was up every two hours feeding him. I mean, if anything, i’m glad we were confined to indoors back then during them covid days, year ago (last year). Because Lord knows I was not sleeping, and i begged my mom to take puppy for a few hours while I slept. And as he healed, I took pictures, it was him and I and my family. Everyone loved him. He was a lot of work. And I read all sorts of dog blog post, called vets, asked questions and lord oh lord did i ask questions. I got him Pet insurance, and i went back to work because i had to feed this new pup and get him doggy insurance. I don’t regret working and listen to people while they were horrified of what was going on due to covid. Even though i had my own fears because i’m immune compromised. But i had a new mouth to feed. He was something else. brough lots of joy just being around him. He still does, even though he’s much faster than I am now a days. I cannot run with him because i can’t physically run, but i do go on strolls with him. I’m teaching him how to go the the same treadmills and I walk on (separately of course), and I’m very happy to come home and have someone to feed. He brings lots of joy. I mean, this morning, he was on the side of my bed waiting for me to get up so we can go out for a play outside, and for food (that he chose not to eat) because the chicken wasn’t done for me to add to his meal. (just like a child). But he doesn’t speak, and figuing him out has been awesome. I tell him to show me what he wants and he takes me to where and why. When he’s mad at me, i know because he will go to the bathroom trash can and throw it on the floor in front of the main door. When i’m looking for something and I can’t find it, he usually places it in front of the door when i’m home so i can look for it. so it can be a blessing because he’s mad and will act like a teenager, or a blessing because he found what i’m looking for. He is highly intelligent. I mean what german shepard and husky isn’t? Anywho, this is a little note to remind people that Dog are not just pets, they can be so much more if you let them. Buddy, my last dog who passed away a year ago (after living 24.5 years), got the opportunity to teach him all his training on how to let me know when my sugar was low. Buddy use to bring me a toy bread when i was starting to get low. Now Max brings me a specific snoopy when i’m going low. Go figure. I’m happy Buddy was able to teach him, and Max is always sniffing my inner elbow (what is that called again?) to make sure i’m ok. There is a lot that that comes with taking care of others, especially when a pet takes care of you back. So if you are thinking of a pet, make sure you are ready for one, financially, and emotionally. The more you love them, the more they protect you. Ok, i’m just writing to write because i’ve not written in a very long time, of which you will read of eventually.

So why a PET?

They are an amazing form of unconditional love, that make you grow into a more awesome human because you have to keep it alive and they bring lots of joy to your life. If you are willing to work for one that is…

Have a good week. Make it all the best this week, for you and if you have a pet, for your pet too.

xoxo Jes Sofia V.

https://www.instagram.com/maxvpuppy

Iron Deficiency Anemia: The Feels of it all

I recently when through infusions for Iron Deficiency Anemia a long and interesting process. Ā I can tell you this… OUCH! and Ahhhh-ayeeee! Where words I used when I was going through the process. So earlier this year I took some time because there were many variables telling me to rest. I had just come back from rest, and yet, I did not feel rested. Working with families and communities can be a lot, and it wasn’t what was keeping me tired, because I felt alive while helping. How can I help others when I kept coughing and feeling low of energy? There was something else, something I felt was not right. Month after month I kept feeling tired and had continued low energy. My atoms, neurons, and connections did not seem to be working, I was not my bubbly, energy fused me. I tried very hard to continue me…but that in itself made me sad because it was no longer normal. I wasn’t able to pass test that I was taking, I felt depleted, distracted and some depressive symptoms fell upon me. I didn’t know what it was, I knew I didn’t suffer from depression, or maybe it was my first episode, I thought. I knew all the symptoms after diagnosing many people after ten years as Marriage and Family Therapist, and I knew how they looked on others. I was dumb founded that I was feeling this low of energy. I wasn’t motivated. I wasn’t doing the same in all areas of my life. So I looked throughĀ Depression symptoms: (The pink I felt)

  • “Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
  • Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
  • Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
  • Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
  • Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
  • Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
  • Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
  • Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
  • Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches” (Mayo Clinic, 2017 1)

I sought help. I called my doctor and we could not understand why my asthma had increased, why I was coughing so much, why my head hurt, by body ached and my spine and muscles where flaring up (had two prior spine surgeries). I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what. Ā When he took my blood (Red Life Syrup), he was scared for my life. My Red Life syrup was like OMGOSH YOU ARE OFFICIALLY A ZOMBIE! Well…maybe a Vampire!… as I needed life syrup. 0.o The counts…they where low (no pun intended, well maybe), more than Half low in life syrup I was informed, and my Iron numbers where also super low. I had elevated numbers of inflammation and so I was treated for a chest infection, and ear infection with anti-biotic and loads of cranberry juice and green juice where my friend. I joined an amazing support group online to see “What the heck!!!” lol My doctors were amazing and they had me on Iron 325 mg 3xs daily and loads of greens and iron foods. I even opened up to my Facebook friends and I was even cooking on an Iron skillet thanks to my Register dietitian friends advice.

I was like, WOW, really lady?! MyĀ doctor who knows me very well personality, positivity and all that comes with my awesome self package was like “this is not you.” For him to tell me he was scared, I got permission to worry. I looked and felt depleted. Dark circles under my eyes, shaking like I was with Chanklas (sandals) and a robe in the snow and my nails where purple, always braking and I felt brittle. I couldn’t sleep and I felt pain. You would think I could sleep long ends, but it was the opposite. I went for days without sleep. I took Netflix and Chill to a whole new level… LOL It was me and Pillow. When I felt energy I ran to Mr. Snow. Where my Chills and shaking looked normal and being Blue was a normal thing. I felt like I was breathing clean air, and breathing hard was normal. I thought it was just pollution messing me up sometimes too. And when I slept, thanks to Norcos due to pain, I woke up feeling drowsy, muggy, like I just got up from being dead. I wasn’t me. I kept feeling buzzed, like I had taken two cups of wine instead of one, even when not on pain meds.

@-@

“Iron deficiency anemia is a common type of anemia ā€” a condition in which blood lacks adequate healthy red blood cells. Red blood cells carry oxygen to the body’s tissues.” (Mayo Clinic, 2017)

“Initially, iron deficiency anemia can be so mild that it goes unnoticed. But as the body becomes more deficient in iron and anemia worsens, the signs and symptoms intensify.

Iron deficiency anemia signs and symptoms may include:

  • Extreme fatigue
  • Weakness
  • Pale skin
  • Chest pain, fast heartbeat or shortness of breath
  • Headache, dizziness or lightheadedness
  • Cold hands and feet
  • Inflammation or soreness of your tongue
  • Brittle nails
  • Unusual cravings for non-nutritive substances, such as ice, dirt or starch
  • Poor appetite, especially in infants and children with iron deficiency anemia”Ā (Mayo Clinic, 2017)

After months of diagnosing and waiting for my body to heal, medicines that stopped my Life Syrup depletions monthly and loads of abdominal checks, I had a small surgery in hopes that was the cause of why… and after that I still felt low. I had iron infusion therapy, the red pill was not working and eating greens and healthy Iron filled foods where like nothing. So Therapy it was, where I was placed in a large room with others going through similar weakness, and others going through becoming weaker battling cancer and other conditions… I then understood that Anemia was not like any otherĀ battle, and when others said “OH ITS JUST MY ANEMIA” I understood that they had found their peace to being ironwomen and ironmen. Ā I understood that it was a battle for your life on an everyday scale and sadness and emotions that came with it where due to the health diagnosis. After all, our thoughts are fusedĀ with our body as our brain is held in it. I had diagnosed “due to GeneralĀ Medical Condition” I understood it from an educational level and years of observation… and now, I knew of it as experienced it. It’s both mental and physical staying alive. I never understood why there was such separation. Thank God I am bubbly again. I feel energy and I’m exercising and being once with nature and hike daily walks again. I have my bad and good days like anyone else… but I get through it. I’ll begin to work again and yours and My prayers worked, and God made some amazing doctors to help me through my process.

Get help when you don’t feel like yourself.

Sharing is Caring: My doctors

Smile (if you want),

Jes

Receiving Constructive Criticism in Relationships

Many of us may know how to deal out constructive criticism in a loving manner, what about when the roles are switched and you are being criticized? No matter how nicely you are told you are doing something wrong or could do better, it is still a blow to the self-esteem and can be difficult to receive. Here are some tips to soften the blow and continue on the path of improvement:

 

  1. Use active listening: actually listen to what is being said to you. This is without becoming defensive and plotting a response.
  2. Empathize: Try to put yourself in their shoes as you are hearing what you do wrong. Think about how it would make you feel if you were on the receiving end
  3. Re-frame the criticism: Try to take what is being said to you (especially if not constructively doled out) and reframe it to a more positive perspective. This is a way to lessen the blow yourself. Remind yourself that your partner loves you and this is being said because they donā€™t want to feel resentment.
  4. Check your own feelings before responding: if you are feeling upset, revisit 1-3, take some deep breaths, some time, or even ask for space to absorb what was said.
  5. Provide your feedback: thank them for trusting you enough to share this! It takes trust and faith that one can accept the criticism and is often just as difficult to deliver it to those we love as it is to receive it. Use your ā€˜I-statementsā€™ and share how you feel in a thoughtful and constructive manner.

Honestly try: Honestly try to give your partner what was just requested. If you find yourself struggling, share this with your partner and try to work together to find a healthy compromise that will work for the both of you.

http://marriagecounselingblog.com/marriage-counseling/responding-to-criticism-lovingly/

http://www.lifescript.com/well-being/articles/0/7_guidelines_for_accepting_constructive_criticism.aspx

http://www.advance.latech.edu/pdf/Learning_To_Take_Constructive_Criticism_In_Stride.pdf