Author: Michelle Holt

Finding a Good Therapist For Your Child

To look for a child therapist can be nerve-wracking. Try not to let this deter you from getting the treatment your child needs. There are ways to find a therapist that is a good fit for your child and yourself.

Practical ways to find a good therapist for your child and you:

  • Talk with your friends and family to see if they have any recommendations of therapists they have found helpful for their children and families.
  • Check with your insurance provider for a list of therapist and begin calling those on the list
  • Ask your primary care physician or pediatrician for a recommendation.
  • Search the internet for local providers.
  • Verify that the therapist has a clean record through the state licensing department such as the Board of Behavioral Sciences in California (https://www.breeze.ca.gov/datamart/selSearchTypeCADCA.do?from=loginPage)

Questions to ask a potential therapist:

  1. Do they have experience working with the age group of your child?
  2. What is their theoretical framework? Have them explain how they feel it can help your child. Have them explain the pros and cons of their treatment
  3. Do they appear comfortable and okay with your questions? If they seem defensive or judgmental then they likely are not a good fit.
    1. Don’t feel offended if they don’t want to answer personal questions, they are trained to make it all about you, not them.
  4. Are they open to including you in part of the treatment; family sessions, parenting collateral?
  5. Are they doing a complete assessment; asking about family history, current family composition, academic, and social functioning? These are all important in developing a sound diagnosis and treatment planning.
  6. Are they letting you know what the treatment is and obtaining your input, seeing if you have any concerns, and inquiring of your ideas of the possible problems and what the outcome is that you would like?
  7. Are they able to develop a good relationship with your child and you?

Know your rights!

  1. If you do not feel a therapist is a good fit, you have the right to request a different one!

For more information on finding a good therapist, check these additional resources

http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/treatment/choosing-therapist-your-child

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/nurturing-resilience/201011/finding-great-therapist-your-child

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/daniela-tempesta-lcsw/how-to-pick-a-therapist_b_4571857.html

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/01/26/10-ways-to-find-a-good-therapist/

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist

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Michelle Natale LMFT

Michelle is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been working with youth and families for over 17 years.

Michelle graduated from Chapman University with her Masters in Psychology; emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy.

Michelle earned her bachelor’s degree in Psychology from California State University at Northridge.

Receiving Constructive Criticism in Relationships

Many of us may know how to deal out constructive criticism in a loving manner, what about when the roles are switched and you are being criticized? No matter how nicely you are told you are doing something wrong or could do better, it is still a blow to the self-esteem and can be difficult to receive. Here are some tips to soften the blow and continue on the path of improvement:

 

  1. Use active listening: actually listen to what is being said to you. This is without becoming defensive and plotting a response.
  2. Empathize: Try to put yourself in their shoes as you are hearing what you do wrong. Think about how it would make you feel if you were on the receiving end
  3. Re-frame the criticism: Try to take what is being said to you (especially if not constructively doled out) and reframe it to a more positive perspective. This is a way to lessen the blow yourself. Remind yourself that your partner loves you and this is being said because they don’t want to feel resentment.
  4. Check your own feelings before responding: if you are feeling upset, revisit 1-3, take some deep breaths, some time, or even ask for space to absorb what was said.
  5. Provide your feedback: thank them for trusting you enough to share this! It takes trust and faith that one can accept the criticism and is often just as difficult to deliver it to those we love as it is to receive it. Use your ‘I-statements’ and share how you feel in a thoughtful and constructive manner.

Honestly try: Honestly try to give your partner what was just requested. If you find yourself struggling, share this with your partner and try to work together to find a healthy compromise that will work for the both of you.

http://marriagecounselingblog.com/marriage-counseling/responding-to-criticism-lovingly/

http://www.lifescript.com/well-being/articles/0/7_guidelines_for_accepting_constructive_criticism.aspx

http://www.advance.latech.edu/pdf/Learning_To_Take_Constructive_Criticism_In_Stride.pdf