Month: February 2024

Online Dating

Love or fuxe!

So I just got back from my friends wedding! They met online and this is officially the 5th couple I’ve had in my life that has gone through the motion of being in love with another human.

so I decided to jump into the pool… apparently the first fish that tried to catch me was a sardine… you know not everyone likes sardines. Especially when they are fishy…

and all I can tell you is make sure that you stay on the app until you feel better, have gotten to know them.. and make sure that you give your place in how you are treated. Thank Goodness I followed my instincts!! Because! People will be people and act like fishies!

but enough about that! Here are some tips for online dating!

  1. Follow your instincts.
  2. Read the safety manual on all sites. Every site will tell you and give you hints in what not to do and how not to get enveloped in a hardship… I mean relationships. 😜
  3. Verify yourself. and talk to people who are also verified.
  4. Ask for what you do allow and set limits on what you don’t allow in your life.
    if you like short people then talk to short people. If you like giant people because tbey can make you feel safe…. Then Date gigantor!
  5. and Be yourself. The more you are you, the more you practice on being the real you with everyone.
  6. Have fun and attract people filled with joy! Because you are worth it!
  7. Go to sleep! Maintain your healthy habits! People who really want to talk to you will do so and respect your time.
  8. Don’t wait too long to long to go on a date.
  9. Do not give people money! If they ask- it could be a person trying to steal stuff. It’s like rule number one but I didn’t want to scare you until now… I mean well not at all… just caution you if being too nice to people sad stories.
  10. and last but not least- please post current pictures! Ain’t no one trying to date you from ten years ago! We want to see the black and white hair ya! Show them Chomps! And be happy!

Make it fun to explore,

Enjoy the process!
-Jes

and yes I’m still single ya! Smh 🤦🏽‍♀️ me! Lol

Finding a Good Therapist For Your Child

To look for a child therapist can be nerve-wracking. Try not to let this deter you from getting the treatment your child needs. There are ways to find a therapist that is a good fit for your child and yourself.

Practical ways to find a good therapist for your child and you:

  • Talk with your friends and family to see if they have any recommendations of therapists they have found helpful for their children and families.
  • Check with your insurance provider for a list of therapist and begin calling those on the list
  • Ask your primary care physician or pediatrician for a recommendation.
  • Search the internet for local providers.
  • Verify that the therapist has a clean record through the state licensing department such as the Board of Behavioral Sciences in California (https://www.breeze.ca.gov/datamart/selSearchTypeCADCA.do?from=loginPage)

Questions to ask a potential therapist:

  1. Do they have experience working with the age group of your child?
  2. What is their theoretical framework? Have them explain how they feel it can help your child. Have them explain the pros and cons of their treatment
  3. Do they appear comfortable and okay with your questions? If they seem defensive or judgmental then they likely are not a good fit.
    1. Don’t feel offended if they don’t want to answer personal questions, they are trained to make it all about you, not them.
  4. Are they open to including you in part of the treatment; family sessions, parenting collateral?
  5. Are they doing a complete assessment; asking about family history, current family composition, academic, and social functioning? These are all important in developing a sound diagnosis and treatment planning.
  6. Are they letting you know what the treatment is and obtaining your input, seeing if you have any concerns, and inquiring of your ideas of the possible problems and what the outcome is that you would like?
  7. Are they able to develop a good relationship with your child and you?

Know your rights!

  1. If you do not feel a therapist is a good fit, you have the right to request a different one!

For more information on finding a good therapist, check these additional resources

http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/treatment/choosing-therapist-your-child

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/nurturing-resilience/201011/finding-great-therapist-your-child

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/daniela-tempesta-lcsw/how-to-pick-a-therapist_b_4571857.html

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/01/26/10-ways-to-find-a-good-therapist/

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist

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Michelle Natale LMFT

Michelle is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been working with youth and families for over 17 years.

Michelle graduated from Chapman University with her Masters in Psychology; emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy.

Michelle earned her bachelor’s degree in Psychology from California State University at Northridge.